The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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	How to Discipline Your Children with Emotional Intelligence Part 1 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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How to Discipline Your Children with Emotional Intelligence
Part 1
by Susan Dunn

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Page: 1 2 3

It's so clear when you're sitting on the outside watching. There I was at the kitchen table in my friend's house chatting with her while she fixed dinner. Her son Billy ran in and tried to grab some chocolate out of the bowl on the counter, knowing it's against the rules.

Catherine grabbed the candy out of his hand and reminded him of the rule. Billy turned around, picked up the garbage can and hurled it across the kitchen. I watched an empty can of tomato sauce hit Catherine on the side of the head, and proceed to dribble the remainder of its contents down the front of her white blouse, while I felt something land on my foot I hoped was coffee grounds.

QUIZ:

What should Billy's mother, Catherine, do at this point?

A. Stop and think before she takes any action.
B. Count to ten, breathing deeply, and soothe herself.
C. Calm herself down before she says or does anything.
D. Manage the anger coming from her reptilian (primitive) brain, and access her limbic (parental and caring) brain and neocortex (thinking brain) to deal with the situation.
E. Stop and understand the reason for Billy's behavior
F. Respond, don't react
G. Spank him right away and make him clean up the mess
H. Make him apologize
I. All of these
J. A-F only

Your answer: _____

Sitting here reading this, it's kind of obvious that A-F are emotionally intelligent things to do, but when you're in the situation yourself, that reptilian brain can "flood" you with emotions that cloud your reasoning.

The emotionally intelligent thing to do is be prepared for such occasions because when tempers flare, reason goes out the window. With another adult, you may something you later regret, but with a child it's far worse " you'll be modeling acceptable behavior.

Decide your disciplining methods beforehand " time out, for instance " so when the occasion arises, you can be more cool-headed. It's good to over-learn things like this, so they'll come to you in times of stress. You have your plan, you know the acceptable options, and you aren't left to react in a state of what mounts to panic.

One of the saddest things to see, and I don't see it as much as I used to, thank heavens, is when a child starts having a tantrum and the parent orders her to stop, She escalates, and then the parents says, "Okay, I'll give you a reason to cry then," and hits them.

This is a no-win situation all around, modeling exactly the kind of behavior you are trying to discourage.

Page: 1 2 3

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."

I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.

Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines.

For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

I believe that what woman resents is not so much giving herself in pieces as giving herself purposelessly.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
Born June 22, 1906

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Last updated June 28th, 2004

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