Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
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Rebecca Brents
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| Deadly Thoughts of Be-Frazzled, Frustrated, Exhausted Mothers | Family Matters Contents |
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Parents
Who's Looking Out For You?
Part 2
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.Page: 1 2
She would also expect them to help clean up in the evenings, and would make it clear that if they didn't help her, she would not be so available to drive them around all the time. In addition, she would set aside some time just for her each weekend to work on her own creative projects.
This was a hard one for her. Marcy believed that taking care of herself was selfish -- that being loving meant putting herself aside for her family. She really wanted to be a good mom -- but she was not being a good mom to herself.
We talked about the definition of "selfish." I told her that I believed that Andrea was being selfish when she expected Marcy to give herself up for Andrea, and that Marcy was fostering this selfishness in her children by not taking care of herself.
"Marcy, are you being a good mom if you are so unhappy all the time? Don't your kids need to see you being a role-model for personal responsibility -- which includes taking good care of yourself? How are they going to learn to make themselves happy if they never see you making yourself happy? You are teaching them that they need to take care of others' well-being and that others need to take care of their well-being, which is the definition of a codependent relationship.
"Don't you want them to know how to take care of themselves -- how to take responsibility for their own well-being? Taking care of yourself is not selfish -- it's self-responsible! You're not being a good parent if you just take care of your children but don't take care of yourself."
Marcy got it and immediately went about making changes. She was like a new woman when I spoke with her the next week, with much more power in her voice. She was beginning to see that the problem was not so much not being cared about by her family, but not caring about herself. She could begin to see that how her family treated her was a mirror for how she was treating herself.
I breathed a sigh of relief -- Marcy was getting her life back!Page: 1 2
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: Inner Bonding
or email: margaret@innerbonding.com
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
~ Robert Benchley ~
Born September 15, 1889
| Deadly Thoughts of Be-Frazzled, Frustrated, Exhausted Mothers | Family Matters Contents |
Fathers Tell Your Stories! |
Astrology Tarot New Age (Home) / Family Matters
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Last updated June 29th, 2004
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