The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Deadly Thoughts of Be-Frazzled, Frustrated, Exhausted Mothers |
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| Loving Someone Else's Child | Family Matters Contents |
Parents -- Who's Looking Out For You? |
Are You a Writer? A Musician? A Photographer? An Artist?
Are you seeking a more meaningful, more focused creative dimension to life? Nourish your Inner Artist with our new creativity class. Answering Creativity's Call presents an hour and a half of lessons and lectures, packed with inspiration, information, strategies and support to help you be the creator you want to be and live the creative life you want to have. Learn more here: Creativity Class
Deadly Thoughts of Be-Frazzled, Frustrated, Exhausted Mothers
by Linda Lovejoy
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Who Are You?
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Natal Chart has to say.
Being a mother has been touted the "hardest job in the world," and for good reason. The pay stinks (low or non-existent), the hours are long (you are always on call), and there is very little "Thanks" for a job well done. Sometimes the self-imposed SHOULDs or "Deadly Thoughts" held by mothers can make their already difficult job nearly impossible. Enjoy!
1. I have to be a "perfect" mother.
Recognize there is no such thing as a "perfect" mother. Give yourself permission to be human and make mistakes. Even well educated professionals with advanced degrees such as doctors and lawyers refer to their work as "practicing medicine" or "practicing law." Give yourself permission to be a "practicing mother."
2. I have to put everybody else's needs before my own.
Your needs are just as important as the rest of the members of the family. Allow yourself a little treat as least once a week. Treat yourself to a pedicure. Set aside 20 minutes for a bubble bath and place a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the bathroom door.
3. I have to do all of the work.
Do not be afraid to enlist the help of other family members, including your children, to tackle the household chores. You are actually doing your children a favor by allowing them an opportunity to learn life skills that will enable them to feel competent and self-assured as an adult.
4. I am an inferior Mom, if I cannot afford to buy my child the latest design jeans or the newest toy on the market.
Live within your budget. Credit card debt can be a significant stressor. By living within your means, you will be teaching your child by example, how to be financially responsible. You won't need to take on that second job to pay off the credit card and you'll be a much more pleasant and happy mother.
5. My house needs to be spotless and ready for company at all times.
Get over the fact that your house will probably never be on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens. What is more important? Having quality time to spend with your kids or being on the cover of some silly old magazine.
6. I need to say YES to any outside request regarding my child.
Learn to say NO to the barrage of requests that come your way. It's OK to say NO to such requests as baking cookies for your child's homeroom, carpooling the kids to softball practice, or being a Girl Scout Leader. Say YES only to those activities that you would consider fun or relaxing that fit into your schedule.
7. I have to look like I came off the cover of Glamour magazine.
Recognize that you have given birth and that you may no longer have the slim, trim tummy that you had before getting pregnant. It's OK to pull your hair back in a ponytail or wear a hat, if you're having a "bad hair" day.
8. I have to be the type of mother portrayed on TV, magazines, and those mushy books dedicated to "dear ole Mom."
You've already heard, "only in the movies" before. Don't compare yourself to the TV Moms. They are a figment of someone's imagination.
9. I have to cook homemade meals, birthday cakes, etc.
Be thankful for Sara Lee, the local bakery, and the deli counter in the grocery store along with all of the options for fast food. Cut corners wherever you can, so that you have more time to spend with your kids.
10. Everybody must think I'm a good mother.
Let's face it. Everybody is a critic. Don't let those critical comments made by your your in-laws, neighbors, and other busybodies, erode your confidence in your ability as a mother. Remember you are a "practicing mother." Some days you'll do better than others. Be kind to yourself and accept your humanity and shortcomings. You are much more likely to the type of mother your want to be, if you lighten up on yourself. DON'T BE YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC!
This piece was written by Linda Lovejoy, MA, LMHC, Masters in Counseling, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Teleclass Leader, Columnist, Life and Relationship Coach, who can be reached at lindalovejoy@yahoo.com, or visited at Linda Lovejoy -- The Dating Clinic
Copyright 2000-2003 CoachVille, LLC.
If one talks to more than four people it is an audience,
and one cannot really think or exchange thoughts with an audience.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
Born June 22, 1906
| Loving Someone Else's Child | Family Matters Contents |
Parents -- Who's Looking Out For You? |
Astrology Tarot New Age (Home) / Family Matters
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| Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it. |
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Last updated June 29th, 2004
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