Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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Lucky You!: Proven Strategies for Finding Good Fortune: Proven Strategies You Can Use to Find Your Fortune
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Randall Fitzgerald

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	Should Dads Tell their Kids the Truth? Part 1 by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC Mark Brandenburg
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Should Dads Tell their Kids the Truth?
Part 1
by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC

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Page: 1 2

Some day, you'll be sitting with your child, listening to the radio or watching a program on TV. Somebody will be talking about premarital sex, illegal drug use, breaking the law, or some other highly charged issue. And then, your child will start to ask questions. What did you do when you were younger? How often?

While some fathers might consider leaving the room, the best idea is to have a plan to address these kinds of questions.

So how should you handle this?

Do you just tell them everything, and hope they don't do the same things you did, or do you avoid telling the truth?

For a while, psychologists were suggesting to parents that the best strategy to use was telling the truth about your past. If you experimented with or used drugs, just let your kids know. Being honest with your kids was more important than any other consideration.

The problem with this strategy is that it doesn't take into account your child's maturity level. It doesn't consider their readiness to hear this kind of information. Some kids just aren't ready to handle the fact that Dad smoked pot when he was younger, or that he had sex with other women before he was married.

If you're telling your kids this kind of information just to feel better, and "get it off your chest," you're guilty of trying to make yourself feel better at the expense of your kids. This may not only shatter an image your kids have of you, it may seem like an endorsement for them to have the same kinds of experiences.

Kids often have an idealized vision of their parents (although their comments and behavior may belie this), and information about a parent's prior transgressions can be very difficult for them to handle. It adds confusion to an already complex and difficult relationship.

While honesty with your kids is important, one should also consider timing, and a child's readiness to hear. All of these factors should be considered when fathers decide on a strategy to use with their kids. And when a strategy is used, it should be consistent. Here are a few of the strategies that can be used with your kids, with a few of the advantages and disadvantages:

Page: 1 2

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships.

He is an Instructor for the Academy for Coaching Parents, and author of "Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers" Ecourse.

Mark's Ebooks and Courses

Creativity arises out of the tension between spontaneity and limitations,
the latter (like the river banks) forcing the spontaneity into the various forms
which are essential to the work of art or poem.
~ Rollo May ~
The Courage to Create
Man's Search for Himself
Born April 21, 1909

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated August 30th, 2005

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100 Ways to Keep Your Soul Alive : Living Deeply and Fully Every Day
By
Frederic Brussat