The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
By
Rebecca Brents
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I appreciate your taking the time to more than just "answer" my question. You're a gem.
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I stumbled across your site by accident about a year ago and admit to being a skeptic. Over the last year or so I have been stunned by the accuracy of your tarot predictions each week. This Sunday's prediction was for the end to financial hardship. On Monday I received an offer of employment which arrived after over a year of unemployment due to illness. Not only was it a job for which I am well qualified, but also a 40% pay increase over what I was earning before I became unwell, and working in an industry I had never before considered. This not the first time you have been correct -- you've predicted major arguments, frustrations, and unexpected travel. I'm beginning to wonder if there isn't more to tarot than meets the eye!
A visitor to Enchanted Spirit
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Shame on You
Part 1
by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC
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What are you thinking? Haven't we talked about this before?
My seven-year-old son looked down at the food that had just spilled on the kitchen floor.
He stood statue-still, as children often do after an accident. The words and tone I'd used were having their impact. He braced himself to fight the tears, and prepared to clean things up.
When I thought about it later, I realized the worst moment wasn't the food hitting the floor. The worst moment was seeing his face hiding the shame and anguish he was feeling. It was in knowing I'd been responsible for helping him "shove down" big feelings too painful to deal with.
The truth was difficult.
I was teaching my son to feel shame.
How does all of this happen? How is it that our parenting brings out the "worst" in us?
The dynamics of shame are fairly simple. They are often at the heart of toxic relations between parents and children. When we're unable to change the behavior of our children, we may have a rush of feelings that include frustration, humiliation, and anger. Our own sense of being defective may accompany the sense of shame, and may be related to our history as a child.
As children, there were times when we felt misunderstood and mistreated. The feelings of shame that were generated from those times produced defense mechanisms that protected us from having to experience those painful moments again.
When we become parents, we are constantly reminded of past shame-filled experiences in our interactions with our children. The shame comes rushing back in an avalanche of feelings and defenses.
When we're "in" our own shame, everything is distorted. When our children make mistakes, they're our mistakes. When they appear defective, we feel defective. We become overly concerned about other people's opinions, and about what's right and wrong.
And in this avalanche of shame, we lose sight of the most important thing of all--the needs of our children.
Page: 1 2
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships.
He is an Instructor for the Academy for Coaching Parents, and author of "Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers" Ecourse.
If Socialism can only be realized when the intellectual development
of all the people permits it,
then we shall not see Socialism for at least five hundred years.
~ Vladimir Ilyich Lenin ~
Founder of the Russian Communist Party
Born April 22, 1870
| Accepting Your Child's Mistakes | Family Matters Contents |
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Astrology Tarot New Age (Home) / Family Matters
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| Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it. |
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Last updated March 1st, 2006
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