Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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Rebecca Brents

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Becoming Bread: Embracing the Spiritual in the Everyday
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Gunilla Norris

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	Forgiving your Father for Father's Day Part 2 by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC Mark Brandenburg
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Forgiving your Father for Father's Day
Part 2
by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC

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• What makes me the most angry and frustrated when I'm with my kids? What's the pattern I see most often? Is it when they don't listen, or when I feel powerless? If I'm not sure, what does my spouse think?

• How are these patterns connected to my relationship with my father? When did my father get angry with me? What do I resent about my father's relationship with me? When my kids behave in a certain way, what are the "reminders" this gives me about my childhood?

• What are the irrational thoughts I've created as a result of the wounds with my father? Thoughts like, "I'm not good enough," "I should be in control of every situation," or "My kids should always listen" can dominate your relationship with your kids. Understanding these thoughts won't make them go away, but it will make it easier to anticipate and change your behavior.

Forgiveness can be a powerful and transforming experience. It is a way of giving up hope that the past can be changed. When you forgive your father, you accept the past as it was, and ready yourself to move forward. No matter how abusive or absent your father was, you accept what happened, and stop blaming your father for your current problems.

Forgiveness is not a one-time event. It happens emotionally when we feel the pain and sadness from letting go of a better past, and what we might have had. It happens when we stop blaming our fathers, and stop using anger to shield us from our sadness. Forgiveness happens in our thoughts when we see our fathers for who they were, and not for whom we wanted them to be. It happens when we end the illusion of the selfless father, who looks after our needs first and foremost.

Forgiveness is complete when we allow it to unfold. It is a process, and it may take years. But as each layer of anger peels away, your opportunities expand. The energy that was devoted to anger and regret can now be devoted to things that matter: passion, truth, and love.

Fathers Day is coming, and there is no better time to consider forgiveness. It will allow you to feel more accepted by your father, and to more easily accept your children. And among the responsibilities that fathers have today, none is greater than accepting their children.

If you can forgive your own father and accept your children, you've supplied many of the tools your children will need to thrive in a complex and challenging world.

The rest is going to be up to them.

Page: 1 2

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships.

He is an Instructor for the Academy for Coaching Parents, and author of "Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers" Ecourse.

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All human sin seems so much worse in its consequences than in its intentions.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~
Born June 21, 1895

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated June 8th, 2006

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If You Hear the Message Three Times, Listen
By
Patricia Heller