Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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	The Number One Complaint After the Family Get-Together Part 3 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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The Number One Complaint After the Family Get-Together
Part 3
by Susan Dunn

Page: 1 2 3

Optimism means expecting the best and attributing bad things in ways that are not personal, permanent, and pervasive. When something negative occurs -- let's say your mother takes off on you again about your hairstyle -- attribute this to something not personal, permanent, or pervasive.

It isn't "personal," i.e., your mom does this to everyone, not just you. It isn't "permanent," i.e., you can change your hairstyle, your mom can change her attitude, you can quit letting her get to you, and this won't always happen everywhere. It isn't "pervasive," most of the time things go well for you, and everyone at works loves your hairstyle. So does your partner! And most importantly, so do you!

If the event itself isn't much fun, attribute it the same way. Nothing personal, nothing pervasive, nothing permanent.

Flexiblity and creativity will go a long way for you at a family reunion. Being flexible means going with the tide, bending a little, not getting rigid from the stress. If you shut down and start trying to control the uncontrollable, you will make things worse.

If you've scheduled an event and some of the people show up late, be flexible. In fact, plan on it. Put their hamburgers under foil in the oven, and they can eat when they get there. No need to ruin the fun or spoil your party over worrying about the fact they "they" are "never" on time.

In fact "always" and "never" are the plagues of family events because of the history, and because of the old roles we revert to. Any of these peccadilloes that plague you could change. In fact Uncle Harry and Aunt Nelda were on time for your grandfather's funeral, so you know they can be when it's important to them.

If you then go on to say that YOU aren't important to them, you're going down a road (the ego-road) you don't want to go. Just let it go. Sometimes they're on time; sometimes they're not.

Think of creative ways to manage the event, and also your emotions. You can do it! Better to devote your thinking-time to that, instead of to worrying and being negative.

Resilience means being able to bounce back from setbacks, losses and rejections without losing your aplomb -- or rather without losing your enthusiasm and hope. This could apply to your July 4th celebration.

Emotions are our guides, and though we don't like the negative ones, they give us information. Sort through the feelings you have, learn to identify them, and figure out the message, and from the standpoint of an adult, not in your former roles.

With time you'll become faster at processing the emotions and getting the message. This gives you more freedom in responding, if you choose to!

Working on your Emotional Intelligence competencies brings life-long benefits.

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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

I hate a fellow whom pride, or cowardice, or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl; let him come out as I do, and bark.
~ Samuel Johnson ~
Born September 18, 1709

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Last updated August 30th, 2004

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Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling
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Wayne W. Dyer