Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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Rebecca Brents

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The Art of Family : Rituals, Imagination, and Everyday Spirituality
By
Gina Bria

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	The Number One Complaint After the Family Get-Together Part 1 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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The Number One Complaint After the Family Get-Together
Part 1
by Susan Dunn

Astrology is for Believers.

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With Real Astrology as your compass, you can recognize what's right for you, work with your natural gifts and rhythms, understand the dynamics of your relationships, and take your place more easily in Life's natural flow.

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Page: 1 2 3

"Paula," I asked. "How was your 4th?"

"Boring," she said. "I'd forgotten what my father's side of the family is like." She went on to complain, with growing anger, about what this uncle said, what this cousin did, how this brother acted, and then there was "the Drama Queen aunt" who "ruined" such and such by doing such and such, "like she always does." It was a long list, and her bad mood was clearly going to continue for a while.

Why is it we sometimes have such a hard time at family get-togethers? I asked a recent teleclass on Emotional Intelligence, and here's the list they came up with:

1. We revert to childhood roles.
2. Expectations
3. Trying to "fix" everyone else
4. Low Emotional Intelligence

Now how can we address some of these challenges and make these family get-togethers better?

Reverting

In order to avoid reverting to old roles and patterns, get yourself centered and into your Personal Power before you go. This means remembering that you are no longer a 6 year old daughter, 8 year old nephew, 10 year old cousin, or 12 year old nephew.

If you feel yourself locking into an old pattern along with feeling "hopeless and helpless," take a breath, remove yourself from the situation (mentally and emotionally, if not physically), and disengage until you've collected yourself again.

Think before you go about your current life situation -- where you're a high-functioning, together adult, capable, loving, lovable, and loved. It's a good idea to check in with your coach, if you have one, to get guidance in getting yourself positioned correctly for the event.

Once there, deal with each single situation and incident as it comes up without dragging in the past. The next event you might use for processing. If you feel yourself flaring up, over-reacting compared to how you ordinarily would, or beginning to get off-center, take note of what caused this. You may find it something you need to rethink.

One of the things you have as an adult, is choice. You can say "no".

Don't Try And 'Fix' Them

If these people -- your relatives -- were fixable, and fixable by you, it would have happened already. The reason we don't carry this baggage to a regular party or get-together is that we're interested in enjoying ourselves and the people there, and not trying to fix anybody.

Page: 1 2 3

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."

I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.

Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines.

For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

Evil is not to be traced back to the individual
but to the collective behavior of humanity.
~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~
Born June 21, 1895

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Last updated August 30th, 2004

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Aspects in Astrology: A Guide to Understanding Planetary Relationships in the Horoscope
By
Sue Tompkins