Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
By
Rebecca Brents

Cut through the confusion.

See clearly

Think better

Make informed choices

Discover why the Tarot has intrigued, informed, and interested spiritual seekers for centuries.

What is your life''s biggest question?

Get a reading on Your Situation

Join our
Astrology and Tarot
Premium Membership
TODAY!!

Astrology is for Believers.

With an open mind and a knowledge of Astrology you can watch your life unfold in ways that make sense.

You can understand the demands of change and "what's really going on" in a crisis.

Whether in a gentle push in the right direction or in a "hard knock upside the head," you can read the message behind what life is asking of you.

Real Astrology ...
for people who take
their lives seriously.

Join our
Astrology and Tarot
Premium Membership
TODAY!!

The New Diary: How to Use a Journal for Self-Guidance and Expanded Creativity
By
Tristine Rainer

Astrology Coaching
Live Your Life by Divine Design

Learn in detail about your character, the way you were built to operate, the life you were meant to live, how you were designed to support yourself with money, in relationships, and with work that honors the unique spirit you are.

Is This Your Year of Living Prosperously?

Take a journey through your birth chart as never before.

Real Astrology ...
for people who take
their lives seriously.

Enroll in
Astrology Coaching
TODAY!!

	Should Parents Reward Their Children? by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC Mark Brandenburg
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

    Email This Page to a Friend    

Should Parents Reward Their Children?
by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC

Astrology is for Believers.

With an open mind and a knowledge of Astrology you can watch your life unfold in ways that make sense.

You can recognize the subtle knock of real opportunity and the soft voice of invitations to personal growth because you know they're coming, where to look for them, and what they'll look like when they appear.

Real Astrology ...
for people who take
their lives seriously.

Get the information you need.

Discover the difference knowledge and preparation can make in your life!

Join our
Astrology and Tarot
Premium Membership
today!!

For many years there's been a debate about rewarding our children. Does it work? Is it effective? If so, what kind of rewards should be used?

To use rewards, we establish a standard with our kids and give them something for meeting this standard. Punishment is given out in much the same way, but it's used when certain standards of performance, behavior, etc. have not been met.

The problem here is not that rewards and punishments don't have immediate results. They often do have quick results. Kids often will become more obedient when threatened with punishment, and work hard when promised a valuable reward.

The problem is what happens when you aren't around.

To develop responsible, self-disciplined kids, parents need to promote certain ideas. One of these ideas is that everyone pitches in and helps in your family, even if you're not crazy about helping. Another idea is that there can be enjoyment in doing any task if we choose to make it so. When a task is for a worthy cause (our family can enjoy the house more because I helped clean it), and when parents are cheerful about their chores, this message can have a big impact.

This is how we help our kids develop an intrinsic sense of responsibility. When our children develop this responsibility, they'll be more disciplined, and they'll control their emotions better. When we give rewards to our kids, we reduce this intrinsic sense of responsibility. We also create children who may temporarily perform to a certain standard, but who aren't likely to continue the performance without the carrot dangling in front of them. These kinds of values must come from inside them.

In his book, Punished by Rewards (1993), author Alfie Kohn writes, "But if we are ultimately concerned with the kind of people our children will become, there are no shortcuts. Good values have to be grown from the inside out. Rewards and punishment can change behavior (for a while), but they cannot change the person who engages in the behavior, at least in the way we want. No behavioral manipulation ever helped a child develop a commitment to become a caring and responsible person. No reward for doing something we approve of ever gave a child a reason for continuing to act that way when there was no longer any reward to be gained for doing so."

Here are some action steps for parents concerning rewards:

• Look at how you are doing or not doing rewards now. Are you promising candy for behaving well at grandma's house? Even the smallest rewards now can set the table for bigger expectations by your kids in the future.

• Start giving your kids tasks that they can be responsible for at a very early age. Treat them as thought they're capable, and be consistent. This is the best way to avoid future "chore conflicts" in your family.

• Talk often about how you are a family that works together and cooperates with each other in order to complete the tasks that need to be done.

• Use subtle rewards with your kids. "As soon as you clean up you can go to grandmas," can work very well. "If you clean up I'll give you some candy," will usually end up biting you in the rear later on.

Parents can help give their children a sense of shared responsibility and discipline which can last a lifetime. And they can give them a sense of entitlement which may last a lifetime as well. The real rewards that your children receive will be their readiness for the complex and demanding world that awaits them-- a world that rewards those who have learned the secrets of discipline responsibility.

So keep those shiny carrots to yourself, and let your kids find their own rewards.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships.

He is an Instructor for the Academy for Coaching Parents, and author of "Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers" Ecourse.

Mark's Ebooks and Courses

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
~ John Billings ~
Born April 21, 1818

Please click on the titles to visit these fine areas of Enchanted Spirit

---

	PO Box 1080 Sandia Park · NM · 87047

Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

---

This site is hosted and maintained for Enchanted Spirit by

Catweasel Ink

Copyright © 1999 - 2008 by Enchanted Spirit and Catweasel Ink.
Contributed works copyright by their respective authors. All rights reserved.
Unauthorized reproduction specifically prohibited.

Last updated January 26th, 2007

Rebecca is not available
right now.


Please check back
later
CLICK HERE FOR
MORE INFO

Real People
Real Lives
Real Ambitions
Real Questions

Our Premium Members
Get
Real Answers
Real Direction
Real Information
Real Advantages

Become a
Premium Member
today!!

Tired of insipid, canned astrology reports full of white space and mysterious jargon?

We specialize in useful, practical, plain English information ... and lots of it!!

The difference between real astrology and the "daily horoscope in the newspaper" will amaze you.

Join our
Astrology and Tarot
Premium Membership
TODAY!!

The Highest Goal: The Secret That Sustains You in Every Moment
By
Michael L. Ray