Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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Rebecca Brents

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Emotional Vampires : Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry
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Albert J. Bernstein

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	Living Hell Are You Living It Or Giving It? by Jan Tincher Tame Your Brain
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Living Hell
Are You Living It Or Giving It?
by Jan Tincher

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Is every day a nightmare? Is the person you are living with finding fault with everything you say or do? Or are you finding fault with everything the person you are living with does? Do you wonder how it got this way?

I used to be that way. I was finding fault right and left. Our baby was a year old, the finances weren't great, I felt like I was being taken for granted, and I wanted more. More from my spouse, more from my life, more from me.

And guess what? No one was providing it.

That being the case, I started complaining about everything. There was nothing I didn't find fault with. One day I woke up and realized what *I* had created. All by myself. I had created a living hell in my own home.

I couldn't believe it. I had always considered myself an upbeat person, but I looked in the mirror and truly did not like what I saw. And I hadn't liked any word, phrase, or sentence that had come out of my mouth for a long time. How my husband was handling it, I didn't know.

I decided if anything was going to be done, I was the person who was going to have to do it. There had been no loving touches for quite a while, and we hardly talked to each other, probably because he didn't want to hear anything I had to say, and who could blame him?

So I started making changes in my life, and ultimately in the lives of my husband and small son. Of course, it didn't happen quickly. I had some issues that didn't go away overnight.

The important thing was, I realized *I* had to change inside before I could change even a little on the outside. I knew my husband wasn't going to trust the fakey nicey-nice approach -- Heaven knows I hadn't been *nice* for a long time.

I had to do something to let him know I knew I had messed things up, AND that I was going to change -- if it killed me. I certainly couldn't go on as I had been. We had grown so far apart, I didn't know if we could ever recapture what we once had.

One night we were driving somewhere, and I cracked a joke. I laughed and laughed, admittedly more than was warranted, but he saw the laughter in my eyes. It was something he hadn't seen in a long time. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and said, "Is something going on here that I don't know about?"

I said, "Yes, honey. I am practicing laughing. I want to bring laughter back into our marriage."

He smiled.

"Uh uh," I said, shaking my head. "I said laughter."

He didn't say too much, and I started to worry. Finally, he stopped at a stop sign and turned to me and said, "You're going to have to tell a funnier joke than that."

I understood what he wasn't saying, but it was the best olive branch I had ever been offered. The next morning, he woke me up with a kiss. It was the first voluntary kiss I had received in a long time, and I cried. He just held me, then out of the blue, he told me a joke.

I couldn't do it on my own, and I think that was his way of telling me he was there for me -- and, unless I did something a lot worse than I had -- he would be with me always. The next kiss was for forgiveness, the next was for love, and the next . . . Well, you get the idea.

If your marriage, your partnership, your love is on the rocks, don't give up. Find a way to make things different. As in every problem, it all starts inside. As with every solution, it all starts inside. Be good to yourself today. If you're having problems, figure out how you can make things better -- inside.

I guarantee you, once you feel better inside, your outside starts to change too. Don't wait for the other person to make the change. Life is too short.

TIP: If you would like more strategies on a regular basis that will help you live the life you want, go here:
http://www.tameyourbrain.com/subscribe.php

Thanks for reading,

Jan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you like this article, pass it on to a friend. Watch as their life changes for the better. Both of you will breathe easier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enchanted Spirit assumes no liability for health care recommendations or treatments discussed by individual authors whose work is published on our website.

The information here is offered to help in your research and investigation of possible ways to manage your own health care issues. Common sense as well as solid professional advice from your own trusted medical care specialist or personal holistic health care practitioner should always be part of managing your health care choices.

Copyright © Jan Tincher - All Rights reserved
Tame Your Brain

Learn unique strategies and techniques for personal success from Jan Tincher online at Tame Your Brain

Publishers, you are welcome to reprint this article in its entirety provided you retain the above resource box and include this notice, plus notify Tame Your Brain of the day(s) you will be running it.

DISCLAIMER: Jan Tincher and/or *Tame Your Brain!* do not guarantee or warrant that the techniques and strategies portrayed will work for everyone. The techniques and strategies are general in nature and may not apply to everyone. The techniques and strategies are not intended to substitute for obtaining medical advice from the medical profession. Always consult your own professionals before making any life-changing decisions.

When we can't dream any longer, we die.
~ Emma Goldman ~
Born June 27, 1869

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated August 17th, 2003

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