The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Rebecca Brents

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Life's Companion : Journal Writing As A Spiritual Quest
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Christina Baldwin

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	Making Small Talk Networking Help for the Introvert Part 1 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Making Small Talk
Networking Help for the Introvert
Part 1
by Susan Dunn

You are not who you are because of when you were born.

You were born when you were because you are who you are.

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Page: 1 2

Tomaso arrived at the office with a bag of breakfast tacos for the staff. He sells paper, a highly competitive business, and he's a top salesman for his company. Tomaso is also an introvert.

The smart people have always known that business is about relationships.

Now it's called "networking," and it's always been the way to make money. Twenty years ago, my mentor told me, "Here's the key, Susan. People do business with people they like and trust. That's all you need to know." Networking is the only way to do that.

Fear of strangers is absolute human nature, and you deny this at your peril. It's monumentally important in today's multicultural environment.

It's survival instinct to be wary of people we don't know and to notice differences. These reactions which come from the reptilian brain are strong and unavoidable. In our animal brains, any human could potentially harm us. So initially we react with suspicion to what we don't know. We may over-ride it with all the things we know intellectually, but it's an over-ride. In other words it takes time.

In good response-fashion (vs. "reacting") we move from the reptilian brain up to the limbic (social instincts, which we also have) and then the neocortex (what we know intellectually). Building relationships is all about giving the other person time to experience you and to get over any negative initial impressions.

Relationships build slowly and they run on talking. There's no such thing as small talk therefore; it's all big!

So how can an introvert do this? Extroverts appear to have the edge. They're over-represented in the higher levels of management, and show up anywhere more often. Since there are more extroverts, and since they are more "in your face," most situations are geared toward their preferences. So we have Chamber mixers where people can run around handing out their cards which are quickly deposited in the circular file as soon as the person returns to their office, but the savvy introvert goes about it differently.

Let's look at how Tomaso works. The receptionist, Maria, is his entry point. He watches and listens to her closely with the great intuition most introverts have. He calls and say, "Hi chula, I'm bringing breakfast tacos tomorrow. Let everyone know." Notice that he doesn't try a manager, or the CEO.

Maria likes him immediately, so she helps him out. "Good," she says. "That other guys brings cookies and we want breakfast tacos. Bring potato and egg, chorizo and egg, and bacon and egg. And label them."

Tomaso does exactly that. When he arrives, he gives Maria the bag, and she goes to work. She announces the breakfast tacos have arrived. Meanwhile, Tomaso knows Maria can't leave the desk, so he's brought her the kind of tacos she likes, with a paper plate, salt and pepper, and a small container of hot sauce. He's thoughtful. He notices.

Then Tomas walks down the hall to Christina's office. Christina's Anglo, Germanic background, formal and reserved, but he knows she will be polite.

"Hi chula," he says. "The tacos are here." Then he stands there with a big smile on his face and says nothing else, just looks available and quizzical. Christina's in upper level management and swings into action. He just follows her sophisticated lead in conversation.

Page: 1 2

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."

I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.

Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines.

For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

The reader deserves an honest opinion.
If he doesn't deserve it, give it to him anyhow.
~ John Ciardi ~
Born June 24, 1916

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated July 16th, 2005

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Astrology is for Believers.

With an open mind and a knowledge of Astrology you can watch your life unfold in ways that make sense.

You can understand the demands of change and "what's really going on" in a crisis.

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You Can Remember Love : Contemplations on Science and Spirituality
By
Odete Martins Bigote