Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
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Rebecca Brents
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What's The Matter?
Cat Got Your Tongue?
Part 1
by Nancy R. Fenn
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Believe me, communication is a sore point with introverts. We have been accused our entire lives long of being noncommunicative: why don't you speak up? why don't you say more? what's wrong, cat got your tongue? why don't you TALK TO ME?!?!?!? can't you tell me what you're thinking? if you don't learn to speak up no one will ever take you seriously! ....... sometimes people just ignore us.
One infp writes that she wanted to be a doctor when she grew up. She was a quiet girl and her mother got mad at her one day and told her she'd never be a doctor because she couldn't talk to people. It really scarred her and she let it ruin her hopes and dreams of a great profession.
She went on to a PhD in biology but when it came to the oral exams, she wasn't able to speak! She had to settle for two Master's Degrees. Now, in middle age, she has healed and is going for a PhD in psychology.
So, just the fact that you aren't badgering him to speak could be a dream come true. You can't imagine what a relief it is not to have that pressure on us.
Another infj told me she had just begun dating a wonderful guy when her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He had been out of town for a few weeks. He couldn't figure out why she wasn't responding to his calls "properly" and she said she simply could not find the words to tell him what was going on. "I was glad to hear from him again but I had to tell him about my mother and I couldn't," she said.
"All my words fell down like to the bottom of a well and sat there. I could not for the life of me retrieve a single word to tell him how hard this was for me, what I was going through. I really couldn't even utter a SOUND. The whole thing was beyond me. I guess this is where some ability with small talk would have helped me. How do you tell someone what it's like, someone you hardly know....
"I know people take it right in stride when a parent dies, but I'm an infp and I'm very deep. I bond with everyone and to let them go is difficult for me, impossible. How could I put any of this into words. This is years later and I'm writing about it, not speaking. So anyway, I was silent and he interpreted it as indifference ,I guess. I did not hear from him again. I was so sad. It was a double loss.
I was just so grief stricken over my mother's condition, the way she was dying and the particular time at which this happened to her when her dreams of a new life were just beginning. She had even dreamed of a nest of bluebirds [i.e., of happiness] all getting smashed and falling out of the nest. How could I put any of this into a sentence or two and move the conversation along? I nursed my mother until her death about a year later.
See more fine articles by Nancy Fenn in our Seers and Sages section and our Coaches and Counselors section.
Nancy R. Fenn is an astrologer and intuitive consultant in the San Diego area. She enjoys working with intuitives, creatives and visionaries to help them discover their vision for the future and their mission in life. She has an international clientele and maintains a website full of good resources for astrologers of all levels. Nancy is also the Introverts' Coach providing support and resources for the eight different types of introverts. Introversion is a legitimate personality type and not a failure to be an extrovert.
You can find Nancy at: Be My Astrologer, The IntrovertZ Coach, Be My Guide, I Design Webpages.
Nancy invites all introverts to take the Six Weeks' Online Self Discovery Course, a course designed by introverts for introverts. Raise your awareness, heal and understand yourself better, recover your positive identity and raise your self esteem. Click through to: Introverts' Self Discovery Course for more information.
Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment.
~ Pearl S. Buck ~
Born June 26, 1892
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Last updated October 25th, 2005
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