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Loved Real Part 1 by Nancy R. Fenn

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"There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid."
There is a classic children's book called "The Velveteen Rabbit" that beautifully describes the rich inner world of introverted children. The velveteen rabbit wants to become real but he doesn't know how. Finally he learns the secret from the Skin Horse, the wisest toy in the playroom.
"[Real]," says the old Skin Horse, "is a thing that happens to you, When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
For many this is a sentimental story about a childhood fantasy or the fantasies of childhood. One reviewer even describes it as a book "for any child who has ever thought that maybe his toys have feelings".
This interpretation is a bit off because it misses the point about introverted children. To an introvert, it is not a question of whether toys have feelings. The story depicts a reality where the child's feelings infuse the toy with life. We know because of this that the child is most assuredly an introvert.
Relating to objects and people is an inner, subjective experience for an introvert. It is as though they bring an object into their inner world in order to relate to it.
Since introverts give energy when they relate (extroverts take energy), there is an infusing quality to the attention or focus of an introvert which is an "active" quality in relating. In other words, introverts can infuse someone or something with love whether or not it is alive -- or reciprocated.
I once had a friend with whom I fell deeply in love. His feelings were not the same and so he told me it was not possible that this feeling I had was love. In order for it to be love, he said, it had to be mutual. To me, that was the most absurd thing I'd ever heard and I continued to love him for a very long time.
It made no difference whatsoever that he did not love me back. He existed as something inside myself and I did not need to possess his physical body or even to ever see him again, since this was his wish, for this to be a complete experience. I know this is impossible for an extrovert to believe.
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See more fine articles by Nancy Fenn in our Seers and Sages section and our Coaches and Counselors section.

Nancy R. Fenn is an astrologer and intuitive consultant in the San Diego area. She enjoys working with intuitives, creatives and visionaries to help them discover their vision for the future and their mission in life. She has an international clientele and maintains a website full of
good resources for astrologers of all levels. Nancy is also the Introverts' Coach providing support and resources for the eight different types of introverts. Introversion is a legitimate personality type and not a failure to be an extrovert.
You can find Nancy at: Be My Astrologer, The IntrovertZ Coach, Be My Guide, I Design Webpages.
Nancy invites all introverts to take the Six Weeks' Online Self Discovery Course, a course designed by introverts for introverts. Raise your awareness, heal and understand yourself better, recover your positive identity and raise your self esteem. Click through to: Introverts' Self Discovery Course for more information.

In the ordinary business of life, industry can do anything which genius can do, and very many things which it cannot. ~ Henry Ward Beecher ~ Born June 24, 1813
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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it. |
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