Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
By
Rebecca Brents
from the Mailbox
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The Attention Revolution: Unlocking the Power of the Focused Mind
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Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful
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Have you ever felt like there is more than one of you? There is. There is the You that God created and there is the you that you created. I like to call these two selves the authentic Self and the strategic self.
The strategic self is that part of you that you created to protect your authentic Self.
It's the part of you that helped you survive your childhood when your authentic Self was not always appreciated by parents, teachers and peers. The strength of your strategic self depends on both the circumstances of your childhood and how you perceived those circumstances.
The more painful the childhood, the stronger the strategic self you likely created.
Your strategic self is valuable. She developed many skills to help you survive in this world, when you need them. So you can call on your strategic self and all of her skills during times when you do need to protect your Self.
The problem arises when your strategic self is in control when you don't need her protection. The key is to be able to choose which self is in control.
We all know when we are being authentic or not. We also can sense when another is being real or not. We may not be aware of it at a conscious level, but our body knows and communicates it to us by feelings of comfort and discomfort.
When I am being real, my body feels comfortable and at ease. I feel grounded, centered and strong. I am coming from a place of love. I feel joy and inner peace. I am connected to my source who I call God. I am being real, telling my truth; I am inner directed. What I say and what I do is based on my inner being, my spirit, my essence. My energy is enhanced.
When I am being my strategic self, my body feels uncomfortable and ill at ease (think disease). I feel weak and vulnerable. I think I must protect myself. I am coming from a place of fear. I feel separate from God and others. Instead of being real, I am being who I think you want me to be or who I think will get me what I want. I am being outer directed. My energy is drained.
A dear friend gave me a print with the title "Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful". It's a picture of a bouquet of 11 red roses with one stunning daisy in the center. To me that picture speaks a thousand words. It tells me that it's not only ok to be unique; it's beautiful to be unique.
Your authentic Self is unique. There is not another You in this world. You are one-of-a-kind. And that You is beautiful! Don't let anyone tell you different!
Here are some questions that can help you on your journey to becoming more and more your authentic Self, which, by the way, will give you lots more energy.
1. When you are being authentic, who are you being?
2. What are some expressions of your authenticity?
3. Are there times/places where you are most likely to be authentic?
4. Are there times/places where you are less likely to be authentic?
5. When you are not being authentic, who are you being?
6. What would you need to shift to be authentic with those who are important to you?
7. What actions will you take this week to be more authentic?
In addition, create names for your authentic and strategic selves. This brings perspective and humor, which is always good.
Sharon Demarte is a Quality of Life Coach. She coaches individuals by telephone and internet, helping her clients close the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Her clients come from all walks of life. She works best with people who have a strong desire, a willingness to take action, and are motivated to increase the quality of their lives ? sometimes even in difficult situations.
One of her specialties is working with Caregivers. She works with caregivers to help them avoid caregiver burnout and maintain their own health, well-being and quality of life while caring for another. She also loves to work with people who are Too Young To Retire ? they are the age of customary retirement, but choose to go on to yet another career.
If you are a person who wants more out of life and would like to explore the possibilities of partnering with Sharon as your coach, please contact her in whatever way is comfortable for you. By email: demartes@nventure.com; by fax (confidential): 253-568- 0453; by telephone: 206-938-1867.
The difference between perseverance and obstinacy
is that one often comes from a strong will,
and the other from a strong won't.
~ Henry Ward Beecher ~
Born June 24, 1813
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Last updated October 8th, 2004
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