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Fascination Can Wear Thin by |
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Astrology Tarot New Age (Home) / Real Life Lines -- Inspiration

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Fascination Can Wear Thin
I grew up in a lazy little town on America's north coast. Laid out in neat, one-mile blocks, the whole place could be circumnavigated in a few hours on foot. This patch of middle class greenery was all I knew until I was no longer a child. My neighborhood was diminutive and nearly everyone was known by name. Children played outside long after dark with no fear, other than the ones we invented to get our adrenaline going.
My house was a leisurely twenty-minute walk to the town's drug store and theatre. The drug store floors were long wooden planks that rapped warmly under the soles of my saddle shoes and had a soda fountain where a vanilla phosphate could be had for a dime. The theatre was huge, with long sloping isles that had golden lights on the seats in the shape of horse heads. In the lobby were massive leather seats shaped like seashells situated just inside heavy glass doors with rounded brass handles.
Sitting there waiting to see who else was coming to the movies for Saturday afternoon's double feature gave me a feeling of glamour. I felt like a Broadway star as I tap danced on its broad wooden stage. Mr. Bennett's tap dancing lessons were the closest most of us Broadway Babies would ever get to our dreams. Once a year, the local hopefuls would produce a musical and it took talent from nearly every household in town to pull it off.
There were some bad kids in town which were basically the product of boredom. Mostly they just walked around in pegged pants, pointed shoes and duck-tail haircuts looking like rowdy movie boys. The wild girls had big hair, white lipstick and wore black. That was enough to rouse stares and whispers from the older residents. Occasionally there would be a rumored fight, but mostly it would just draw a crowd of kids that stood around waiting for something to happen.
There was not much else to do other than hang around down by the lake. If one did not ice skate in winter or swim in summer, they were sunk. The high school sponsored dances every Friday night that lasted until 11:00. We'd walk home calling out our goodbyes in the dark. I recall no crime.
Houses in my home town were trim and friendly. Our lawns were mowed with the timely precision of a watchmaker. The folks who lived there were as straight and unchanging as the path of Canadian geese that flew overhead every fall. All this regularity and repetition led me to believe the whole world was a nice place that could be counted on to smile back, when smiled upon.
I moved to the San Francisco Bay area in my twentieth year. By contrast, it seemed as though I'd landed on another planet. I thought myself rather sophisticated upon arrival, but small town prejudice swelled quickly. My feet realized miles of perpetual concrete. There were massive hills all around, but remained unseen for months due to the presence of relentless smog. Traffic ran full throttle in ten lanes going each direction.
I have always found architecture particularly engaging and spent many hours wandering the city trying to take it all in, making mental photographs. San Francisco is legendary for its beauty and the reputation is well earned; yet it seemed trifling in comparison the splendor of the western coastline.
The immensity and force of the Pacific caused emotion to catch in my throat. Redwoods breathe nobility in comparison to the cold, lifeless form of skyscrapers. Mount Tamopias, immediately across the Golden Gate Bridge lay in idle ease. Inland, shadowing the wine growing valleys raised Mount Diablo. Between the two sparks flew as if engaged in some age-old battle.
Intense is the word for the Bay area. Every aspect of this new place was strange and wonderful and a bit frightening. I tried hard to embrace the pulsating throng of humanity swarming in front of me. I'd never seen people from so many nations and cultures, other than in movies. Fascination alone held me there and I started to perceive the world through new eyes.
I began to see people rather than just places and things. These Californians seemed to be a wholly different form of creation. They moved and lived with a studied ease and casualness that was disarming to my small frame around life. Seldom could I fit them into my notion of how people should behave or respond. I found myself strangely scandalized by behavior that didn't make them blink. My open mind was constantly assaulted by philosophies that made it want to snap shut.
Fondness for the theater led me to the North Beach area of the city. Everywhere I looked, culture and deprivation lay side by side. I met there, for the first time, persons who did not smile back. They were all in a tremendous hurry to complete their clamoring rounds, hunting for fortunes' smile. It was swollen with dangerous people. Strip joints and drugs were entrenched in every corner of these neighborhoods. What I knew to be inanimate city seemed to breath, with tangible, grasping hands. I touched the hand of real fear as the fog rolled in off the Pacific.
Even fascination can wear thin. Like Dorothy, even though appreciative of Oz's unique attraction, I found myself on a jet home.

Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you're in control, they're in control. ~ Tom Landry ~ Born September 11, 1924
Astrology Tarot New Age (Home) / Real Life Lines -- Inspiration
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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it. |
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Last updated January 31st, 2004
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