The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Rebecca Brents

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The Creative Age : Awakening Human Potential in the Second Half of Life
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	My Career As A Hermit by David Leonhardt Finding Happiness and Self-actualization
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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My Career As A Hermit
by David Leonhardt

Astrology is for Skeptics

Real astrology doesn't tell you how to run your life.

It doesn't make your decisions for you.

It doesn't say you're consigned to a certain "fate."

Real astrology charts life's natural cycles.

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"Work from home. Make big bucks in your pajamas."
-- typical work-from-home ad.

Quick. What do writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks have in common? I mean, besides insanity? They are all hermits.

The typical writer locks himself up for years brooding in a dark room, surfacing only long enough to find out who this year's American Idol is. This solitary brooding is supposed to help him develop a keen sense of the human condition.

Stay-at-home parents are prisoners in their own castles, as each child has a different toilet schedule. And a different nap schedule. And a different tantrum schedule. By the time they are all buttoned up in their snowsuits and hopefully not needing the bathroom in the next fifteen minutes, the stores are all closed.

Online marketing geeks sit down to their computer screens in the morning. When they look up, they wonder how it got so dark. The next time they look up, they wonder how it got so light again.

What a sad bunch. What a sorry lot. Who would take on such careers?

I would.

I'm a writer. I'm a Stay-at-home Dad. I'm an online marketing geek. I'm ... Super Hermit!

"Get dressed."

"Why? Don't you like my pajamas anymore?"

"You have to go out."

"What?! Why would I do something so radical?"

"It's Tuesday. You have a big outing."

"Tuesday? Tuesday? What's Tuesday?"

"Garbage day."

In the country, three minutes to the road and back with the bags, then again with the recycling, qualifies as a big outing for a professional hermit. In fact, that's more time than most couples spend each week being a couple.

If this sounds like just the kind of self-inflicted bliss you've been itching for, there are a few things you should know before making the big career switch.

A dedicated hermit often skips a shower. Sometimes, the hermit gets away with it. To help the hermit remember when shower day arrives, there is a simple four-part clinical procedure:

• 1. Lift arm.
• 2. Insert nose.
• 3. If you faint, it's time to shower (when you regain consciousness).
• 4. If you don't faint, schedule a shower -- as early as next week, if you have an opening.

Personally, I apply a simple rule of thumb. As long as I spend more time showering each week than I spend taking out the garbage, my wife probably won't divorce me. Unless I forget to take out the garbage...again.

Here are a few more tips for shower-challenged hermits everywhere:

• Wear cologne. Lots of it. Your partner will think you did it just for her. Or him. Or it. If you wear enough, the kids might even let you out.

• Wear many layers of thick clothes. Warning, if you live in Edmonton or Moscow this might force you to open all the windows to keep from smelling even worse. If you live in Dallas or Delhi, it might force you to close all your windows to keep from smelling even worse.

• Eat garlic for breakfast. If that doesn't work, eat garlic for lunch, too. And for dinner. And for dessert. Nobody will notice your shower schedule, and the kids will definitely let you out.

We professional hermits also lose touch with our friends.

"Hey David. How have you been? It's Al."

"Al? Al who?"

"It's Al. Your friend."

"I have a friend?"

If working in your pajamas appeals to you, perhaps to avoid being the next victim of the "What Not to Wear at Work" TV crew, a career as a professional hermit is your ideal gig. Pick up a pen and paper, get yourself a second-hand computer, or borrow some kids.

If you barricade yourself in your house long enough, you can enjoy your very own life of abnormal isolation and solitude. And everyone will know just what to buy you for Christmas -- pajamas.

David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy, is author of a self-help happiness book. He also serves as a SEO/SEM website marketing consultant. Read more personal growth articles in his Self-actualization Resource Center at The Happy Guy.

Perhaps I am a bear, or some hibernating animal underneath, for the instinct to be half asleep all winter is so strong in me.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
Born June 22, 1906

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated March 10th, 2004

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How to Say it When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words For Difficult Times
By
Robbie Miller Kaplan