Racing with the Moon
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Spiritual Tarot: Seventy-Eight Paths to Personal Development
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	Anger Venting, Exploding and Finding Something In Between by Catie Hayes of WomanLinks.com
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

Anger
Venting, Exploding and Finding Something In Between
by Catie Hayes of WomanLinks.com

Over the past several months, I have repeatedly faced manifestations of my youngest's anger and frustration. Considering that he bore witness to the disintegration of his family, he has a right to every primal scream. At eight though, he has great difficulty identifying the cause, directing it in the proper direction, and moving on afterwards.

There are times when I feel I'm walking on eggshells around him because there is no telling when it will come out, or in what form. He may be upset about forgetting to tell his father something, yet he'll melt down at the grocery store if he feels his brother had a longer turn pushing the carriage, for example.

To his credit, he has been working very hard at vocalizing what he is feeling, and telling the person(s) involved. It is frustrating being at receiving end of his 'spells' so often when his anger usually has nothing to do with me, but I must give him kudos for grappling with something even adults struggle to master.

I remember growing up with the notion, unspoken for the most part, that girls were supposed to be 'nice' and not show anger. Suck it up, roll it off your back, and get on with it, but God forbid, don't act angry.

Ironically, I think this was to prevent making anyone angry with me. (can you say circular argument?) As an adult, I have set up residence along the full spectrum of anger; from bitterness to utter rage and everything in between. Of late, the bulk of my anger stems from occurences entirely out of my control.

The most frustrating of this is being forced to self-edit to grease the sloth-like progress of my divorce. Don't even get me started, unless you have the patience of a saint and about a month to listen.

I might have grown up stuffing it all in, but like my son, I have to stop myself when I feel a full tilt explosion coming on. There is a wonderful feeling of relief from exploding, but typically the cleanup creates more of a hassle then the melt down was worth.

For me, pummeling my kickboxing bag within an inch of its life or journaling every venomous thought keeps my sanity and probably makes me less scary to be around. Now, if it could tame my hair in humid weather, I might actually pass for a pleasant individual.

As I suck in my breath waiting for the next time my youngest lets the world know just how very pissed he is, I try to remember I share the exact same feeling more often than not. It may have taken forty years, but at least I'm aware my anger can fly without plowing down everyone, myself included, in the vicinity.

all the best,

Catie

Copyright 2003 WomanLinks.com

Catie Hayes is founder/editor of WomanLinks.com; a community of support, spirituality, growth and empowerment for women. She is a freelance writer, the single homeschooling mom of two, and an avid fan of laughter, spontaneous dancing, cats and chocolate (not necessarily in that order).

A tremendous number of people in America work very hard at something that bores them. Even a rich man thinks he has to go down to the office everyday. Not because he likes it but because he can't think of anything else to do.
~ W. H. Auden ~
Born February 21, 1907

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Last updated April 1st, 2004

The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
By
Rebecca Brents

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Buddha Is as Buddha Does: The Ten Original Practices for Enlightened Living
By
Lama Surya Das