Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
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Rebecca Brents

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Astrology is for Believers.

With an open mind and a knowledge of Astrology you can watch your life unfold in ways that make sense.

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Whether in a gentle push in the right direction or in a "hard knock upside the head," you can read the message behind what life is asking of you.

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Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse
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Gregory L. Jantz, Ann McMurray, Ann McMurray Revell

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Why Does the Tarot Work? hear the lecture in The Auditorium

	Irene Dunn, Katherine Hepburn and Me by
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Irene Dunn, Katherine Hepburn
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On the Horizon

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In the movie The Awful Truth, Irene Dunn divorces Cary Grant, then both of them spend the rest of the movie figuring out how to get back together.

In the movie The Philadelphia Story, Katherine Hepburn divorces Cary Grant, and then she spends the rest of the movie figuring out that they should get back together.

After tackling the absolute stupidity of why anyone would divorce Cary Grant, you come up with one solid truth: if you divorce your first husband, you must remarry him. Movie buffs call this phenomenon, which happened quite often in older films, "the virgin divorcee." She may have gotten divorced, but she has yet to be touched by another man. See?

Okay, no. You have to understand that in those days you REALLY weren't supposed to have sex before you were married. Look at the movie, His Girl Friday (yet again Cary Grant), he has to stop the wedding before she marries another man. What we learn there is that it's okay to break up an engagement but not a marriage. All in the name of getting these two crazy kids back together before they marry someone else.

It's a nice idea though, isn't it? That all these two wonderful people really needed was to get almost to the altar to realize that the first love was the truest. Then Cary and whoever stars opposite him go off into the sunset pretending that the divorce never happened. It'll be a family secret.

There are the random people who get divorced and reconsider it and remarry. Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton are the first to come to mind. But more often than not, you get divorced and you stay divorced. Afterward, there are not very many romantic feelings left.

But still we hope. We want love to be forever so much that we even want divorced couple to "rediscover" each other. For months after we had finally called it quits, people asked me if the Ex and I could ever get back together. And I would honestly reply "no." Many took it as cold, and told me as much. "But you love him. You married him." Yes, and I also divorced him.

The flaw in these movie plots is that it assumes that most normal human beings can make the decision to divorce quickly. That you don't have the opportunity to think it through. But luckily, most state laws are far more rigorous, not to mention the finances far more restricted. When Liz left Dick, she could run off to her house, hire a lawyer and never see him again. Couples with limited incomes have to do some work.

Unless you have family or really really good friends in town, you have to save up enough for a deposit on an apartment or wait until your spouse has. More than one on the outs couple have shared the apartment, but not the bed, while they moved towards divorce. Lawyer fees vary widely, so you have to hunt around, which takes time. You end up comparison shopping and giving up things for the sake of expediency you thought you might fight over (did I mention that I should have gotten that dang futon?).

From the day I left until a judge said "sure", my divorce took 11 months and 19 days - not that I was counting mind you. Enough time for most wounded hearts to at least scab over.

Unfortunately, when people hear my divorce was final in March of 1999, they assume I was in contact with the Ex up to that point. That we were still struggling to find some middle ground. And thus comes the shock that less than 15 months later, I was accepting the Beloved's hand in marriage. I'm seen as some reckless woman who accepted the first man who came along. I suspect that one of these friends has made bets on me needing the services of my lawyer again.

The truth is that after our last counseling session in August of 1998, I never saw Ex again until after the divorce was final. Then I saw him once when I walked in -- and quickly out -- of a coffee shop over a year later. We would talk, but there's really nothing left to say. How many times do you explain to someone how hurt you were and that together you make each other miserable? You eventually get tired of the rehashing and want to move on.

It's basically the rule of unaccounted for time. People are so shocked when a guy breaks up with his girlfriend and little over a month later, he's with someone new. It's because by the time he broke up with her, he was also halfway over her.

By the time I had said "see ya," I was already over the hardest part of getting divorced -- accepting that I was getting divorced. Everything else was pretty much paperwork. Observers missed the misery of the last year together, while we struggled to manage a happy front to friends and family. They missed me crying myself to sleep for nights on end, while we shared a bed. They just assumed that divorce had the equivalent of a transporter beam, and completely ignored that there was travel time.

Of course I still care for Ex. You don't love someone then stop loving someone without there being feelings left over. But I'm not in love with him, nor have any desire to be married to him. Or see him for that matter. It's a remote kind of care. Like how you care for refugees in the desert.

I don't want him injured, sad, hurt, devastated, or mutilated. I want him happy. I hope he finds someone. I'm just more or less relieved that said person doesn't have to be me. We're not friends. We're not enemies. We're less and more than both. I don't spend my time hating him, or spend my time missing him. I spend my time focused on my life, hoping that he's focusing on his. And I want those lives to be as separate as possible.

Despite what Hollywood says, first marriages sometimes just don't last. Irene and Katherine may have enjoyed a revival, but the most of us want a totally brand new show. Different cast, different script and, if we are very lucky, a completely different ending.

Praise out of season, or tactlessly bestowed, can freeze the heart as much as blame.
~ Pearl S. Buck ~
Born June 26, 1892

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Last updated January 31st, 2004

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Sometimes getting the right answer means asking the right question.

Life is full of hints, signs, and advice ... if you know where to look and what you're looking for.

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The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World
By
Marti Olsen Laney