Inner Health
by Kyra Mesich, Psy.D.

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Everyone seems to know that meditation has plentitudes
of positive benefits, but few people understand exactly what meditation is,
much less how to begin learning this important skill. Meditation is a basic
building block in maintaining your health and well-being.
Regular practice of meditation allows you to have a
deeper connection with yourself. The benefits of this are vast. Relaxation and
connection with your intuition are only the beginning of the rewards that come
from meditation.
Q&A: MEDITATION
* What is meditation?
Meditation is simply the act of moving beyond the
constant chatter of thoughts, to a calm place deeper in yourself. In this
quieter place you can get in touch with your own inner wisdom to relax, heal,
find the answers to problems, and get to know the real you. People in our
culture have a lot of misunderstandings about meditation. They try to make it
much more complicated than it is.
*Is meditation a spiritual practice?
Spiritual is a loaded word. Many people
associate spiritual with organized religion, and that can send them
running the other way. But spiritual really only relates to getting
in touch with the non-physical part of you, sometimes referred to as the
spirit.
We are much more than our physical bodies. It's
easy to see that we have a vast inner landscape, where dreams, memories, and
intuition come from. Meditation is the means to tap into that inner realm,
which is actually the largest aspect of who you are as a person.
If you consider getting in touch with this
subconscious realm to be a religious endeavor, then your meditation practice
will have religious connotations. If you prefer to leave religion out of it,
and see meditation purely as a means to get to know yourself better, then that
is what your meditation practice will be.
So to answer the question, yes, meditation is a
spiritual practice, but only in terms of tapping into the spirit, the
non-physical part of you. Whether you choose to incorporate religious beliefs
into your meditation is entirely up to you.
*Do I need to sit cross-legged and have complete
silence in order to meditate?
Contemporary Western people have misconceptions about
meditation. Maybe that's because we have had so few roles models to look
to, so we end up looking to Eastern philosophies and practices for information.
Meditation is actually the most adaptable health
practice you can undertake. You can meditate while sitting in your favorite
comfy chair, in a hammock, while walking, or even while sitting cross-legged
after doing yoga or tai chi. It's up to you.
All that is required is at least a few minutes of
non-interrupted time. That means no answering the phone, no kids demanding your
attention, etc. Some people achieve this only by leaving the house and going
for a walk, some people have a den or basement room where they can get some
solitude, but for other people their only room for respite is the bathroom!
Uninterrupted time can be a precious commodity in our
hectic society. As you practice meditation, you'll find that eventually it
won't matter as much where you are or what the distractions are around
you. It's only in the beginning when you are first learning that you
really need to have some dedicated quiet time.
*How is meditation related to or different from
relaxation or hypnosis?
Relaxation, guided imagery, self-hypnosis and
meditation are all very similar. They all involve quieting the conscious mind.
The major difference between these varied practices is the goal, not the
activity itself.
Relaxation is undertaken to relieve stress and
tension. Self-hypnosis and guided imagery are generally practiced in attempt to
solve a specific problem such as a physical illness, insomnia, or quitting
smoking. The goal of meditation is more global, to become familiar with your
subconscious self. Having a more global goal, meditation embraces all the other
goals just mentioned.
Meditation relieves stress and aids healing on all
levels. It's really just a matter of semantics, though. All of these
practices are basically the same. It's amazing that some people who engage
in or train clients in progressive relaxation don't believe in
hypnosis or meditation. That's just silly. We need to get beyond the words
and realize that calming the mind and getting in touch with your inner self is
beneficial, and is the true goal of all of the above practices.
*Why is meditation so beneficial?
Day in and day out our lives are focused on the
external world around us. When we focus only on the outer, physical world, life
is confusing, frenetic, and sometimes seems meaningless. We need to have access
to our inner self in order to make sense of life, to be able to use our
intuition, and to understand other people.
But, unfortunately, in our society most of us
don't know this until we are well into our adulthood. It's no wonder
that so many people feel stressed, empty, and frazzled. We were never taught to
access our own inner resources. It's like living with 95% of your
resources unavailable to you.
So I, personally, would go one step further to say
that some form of meditation is not only beneficial, it is necessary, in order
to reconnect with your inner self. It's impossible to live life to the
fullest without a connection to this vast inner source of power and wisdom.
*How can I learn how to meditate?
Learning meditation can be a tricky business because
it is very different from our everyday, conventional approach to life.
Meditation actually is very simple, but it is a matter of learning to move past
the chatter of the mind to a deeper place within. That is the main challenge
for most people, who have grown up in a world where we are taught to constantly
look outside ourselves, never within.
The best approach to learning meditation is a slow
approach. Don't try too hard or get frustrated. Those kinds of
feelings are not compatible with meditation. Alternate meditation at home with
meditative activities such as yoga, gardening, or for some people it may be
swimming or running.
Find the activity that you really like and notice how
your mind calms and you are centered and focused while engaging in the
activity. Eventually, you'll be able to achieve that feeling during your
meditation. You'll get better at it slowly over time as you engage in
varied types of meditative practices.
Oh, and one last point, most people approach
meditation far too seriously. Believe it or not, meditation should be a happy,
light activity. You are learning to be whole, to reconnect with
your inner self. That is a joyous event when it happens.
*How did you learn to meditate, Dr. Mesich?
It happened gradually over years, so it's hard
now to remember the specific things I did. I know that it all began with
hypnosis. I learned to do therapeutic hypnosis during my doctoral psychology
training (which is unusual compared to most clinical psychology programs).
I regularly used hypnosis with patients because I
found it to be so effective in quickly getting clients in touch with their
emotions, and the reasons for them. Patients who suffered from memories of
abuse and trauma were healed ten times more effectively with hypnosis, rather
than conventional talking therapy.
While working with these clients, I saw glimpses of
their subconscious and their inner self, and I realized that the outer
manifestation of ourselves is only a mere fraction of who we are. This is what
led me to study much more about alternative healing practices. Years later,
when I was researching empathic sensitivity and writing The Sensitive
Person's Survival Guide, I found my key for successful meditation.
The key was to focus attention on the solar plexus
(the area of the body between the chest and belly), rather than in the head.
Through years of meditative practice, I had learned to focus my attention, so
it was just a matter of focusing that attention to a different area of the
body, rather than between the ears where we all spend most of our time
thinking, worrying, and focusing our attention.
I never took any specific classes in meditation,
although I have taken yoga, which is related in a lot of ways. Learning to
meditate was a gradual process over a number of years, and now I am able to
connect with my intuition and inner self anytime, anywhere.
I am thankful that I have gotten to this point, and I
wish that more people knew they could also learn to do this. It is a great way
to live. Life is much more meaningful and rewarding.
*No matter what I do, I can't seem to concentrate for very
long before my mind drifts or thoughts interfere with my meditation. Will I
ever be able to learn to meditate?
Believe me, this is a very common lament. There are a
couple of different reasons why people have difficulty concentrating. First,
you are not just learning to meditate, you are unlearning the focus on your
thoughts. We are encouraged from day one to listen to our thoughts and pay
attention to them constantly. But in order to meditate, you have to move past
your thoughts.
That's the roadblock for many people.
They're stuck in their thoughts and don't know how to get around
them. Again, I refer to the solar plexus. Turning your meditative focus to this
area of the body, rather than your head, can help you separate enough from your
thoughts to move past them. If your attention drifts back up to your head, just
move it back down to your solar plexus. It's unusual at first, but in time
it will become second nature.
At another level, I've found that in order to
meditate successfully, to truly connect with your inner self, you have to feel
safe. If you don't feel safe and protected at any level of your being,
your mind may jerk you out of meditation just as you start to feel like you are
getting there. This is because your conscious mind is trying to
protect you and puts up your guards when you begin to approach the subconscious
level.
What causes people to feel unsafe? A history of trauma
or abuse of any kind (sexual, emotional or physical), growing up in a chaotic
family or, conversely, a completely unemotional family, or any number of other
experiences that have left you feeling unprotected, including psychic
sensitivity.
This doesn't mean you can't meditate because
of your family history, but it does mean that you may need to heal the scars
you carry before you go any deeper into your meditative practice. Look into
flower essences, Reiki energy healing, or any other alternative healing
practice you feel pulled toward.
I'd recommend that you read more about this topic
if you think it might apply to you because it is a common problem, and
there's just not enough room here to give the topic the importance it
deserves.
(c) 2003 Kyra Mesich, All rights reserved.

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Kyra Mesich