Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
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Rebecca Brents
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I REALLY needed your encouragement ...but light bulbs went on so I know this is more than special!
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When I have visited some of these 'type' of sites (yours is 'most unique,' and I do not bunch it together with the others:):) I had never gotten the one-on-one interaction like I do here...most are not 'personal' and do not have the 'human touch' as you and your staff give it.
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Five Wishes: How Answering One Simple Question Can Make Your Dreams Come True
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'EQ' Your Request and Increase Your Chances of Getting It |
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'EQ' Your Request and Increase Your Chances of Getting It
Part 1
by Susan Dunn
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Areceli has a difficult time with relationships both in her personal life and at work. When I listen to her ask someone for something, I understand why. Her requests are almost always legitimate, but her presentation defeats her.
Areceli expects to get a "no," even with the smallest request, so she starts off with a plaintive and whiny tone of voice. She acts like it's hopeless and she's helpless.
She begins with, "I know you aren't going to do this for me," and a sigh.
When someone does say "no" to her, she gets angry.
She either says something flippant, like, "Like you would've helped me," or raises her voice and says, "You never give me what I want."
No, she's not three years old, she's an adult who has very low Emotional intelligence. No one ever taught her the competencies she needs to understand her own emotions or those and others, and bring about win-win outcomes.
Use these Emotional Intelligence competencies to maximize your chances of getting what you want:
Empathy
You may be urgent in your request, but understand the other person's position. Most of us want to please those around us, when possible; that is, we have good will.
When someone asks us for something, we go through a bit of an emotional loop - Will they demand and be impossible? Can I give this without harming myself? Will this become never-ending? If I say "no" to this person who is important to me, will it create a problem?
Understand that a request may stress the person you're asking and make your request calm and pleasant, and your reaction to their response, pleasant and gracious.
Personal Power
Personal power means you know you're capable of handling your life. When you approach from this standpoint, you won't come on begging or demanding. No one wants to have a demand placed on them. It immediately raises resistance. However, no one minds a request.
Has someone ever said to you, "I want this-and-such or I'm leaving," or "If you don't call me tonight this relationship is over"? EQ dictates -- Don't demand, request. Ask. This gives other people permission to satisfy themselves while taking care of you.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."
I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.
Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines.
For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting it as it is now.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
Born June 22, 1906
| Susan Dunn Contents | *Obstacles* to Getting Treatment for Your Depression |
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Last updated May 14th, 2004
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