The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Rebecca Brents

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Living Your Past Lives: The Psychology of Past-Life Regression
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Karl R. Schlotterbeck

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	Hope for Overwhelmed Fathers by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC Mark Brandenburg
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Hope for Overwhelmed Fathers
by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC

Astrology is for Skeptics

Real astrology doesn't tell you how to run your life.

It doesn't make your decisions for you.

It doesn't say you're consigned to a certain "fate."

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No man can possibly know what life means, what the world means, what anything means, until he has a child and loves it. Then the whole universe changes and nothing will ever again seem exactly as it seemed before.
~ Lafcadio Hearn ~

On this evening things certainly didn't seem to be like they were before. This evening had been difficult. As I was trying to get my kids to bed, my daughter was whining and crying about tomorrow's school clothes while my son flopped around on the floor without a care in the world.

It was well past their bed time and I was simultaneously: upset with myself for getting behind schedule; preoccupied with a project I was late on; angry with my kids for not cooperating; and worried that they'd have another crabby day from back-to-school stress and a lack of sleep.

I could feel the tension envelope my shoulders and jaw. My mind was moving at a dangerous rate.

Then the moment happened.

My four year old son looked up at me as innocently as humanly possible and said, "Dad, what do snails eat?"

Everything slowed down and relaxed. The drama of the moment disappeared. My worry and concern had been revealed as a hoax. All that seemed to matter now was getting my kids down to bed in a warm and caring manner.

After stumbling through a "snail diet" answer, and thanking my son for putting things in perspective for me, I marveled at how quickly my emotions could change. Unfortunately, this shift is not always very rapid or easy for fathers in stressful situations.

The challenge for many fathers is how to deal with the overwhelm that can be a constant in modern family life. In his book, "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail" (1994), John Gottman found that men produced much higher heart rates and raised their blood pressure higher than women during emotional discussions with their wives. These higher rates also tended to stay higher for longer periods of time.

The result of this sense of overwhelm for men can be any number of reactions, including: disengagement, the silent treatment, angry outbursts, or excessive attention to work. Of course, everyone loses when these reactions become commonplace. And the truth is that these reactions can be improved upon and eventually avoided.

Here are five ideas to help in dealing with overwhelm with your family:

1. Raise your standards: Stop blaming others for your overwhelm, this only makes things worse. Commit yourself to improving your own skills in dealing with overwhelm and realize that it always starts with you.

2. Take time outs. These will help to put some perspective to the situation and they'll also show your kids you're working on it. You can't expect your kids to work on their "stuff" if you don't work on your own.

3. Plan ahead and train your kids. A lot of stressful situations can be avoided by being prepared. Get things ready the night before and be very consistent with routines.

4. Raise the bar for yourself by having your wife or kids (or both) keep you accountable. Tell them to remind you if they see you getting overwhelmed and angry. Then do what's necessary for you to create a healthier response.

5. Use a well-practiced and routine relaxation response for your overwhelm. Whether it's deep breathing or counting to ten, have a tool to use when the going gets tough. It beats yelling any day.

Fathers are often the fixers of things in their household. While not an easy task, the flooding that fathers feel during overwhelm is a fixable problem.

The choice is clear: point fingers at your family or deal with your own issues?

What do you think is best for your family?

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships.

He is an Instructor for the Academy for Coaching Parents, and author of "Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers" Ecourse.

Mark's Ebooks and Courses

If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
Born June 22, 1906

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated June 27th, 2004

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The Secrets of Your Rising Sign: The Astrological Key to Getting What You Want
By
William Lamb, Webb Harris Jr.