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	Showing Who You Are vs. Being Ostentatious by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Showing Who You Are vs. Being Ostentatious
by Susan Dunn

When you have developed your emotional intelligence and are operating authentically from an integrated self, the next step is to make sure you are getting this across to the people around you. You want to leave behind any old actions, behaviors, expressions and gestures from former times, and pay attention to your nonverbal expression so that you can be sure of who you are but not ostentatious.

Definitions

Showing who you are - Acting in such a way that people understand who you are and what you are about. This means showing your good points as part of your integrated self.

Being ostentatious - Being excessively conspicuous; showing off; marked by or fond of conspicuous or vainglorious and sometimes pretentious display. Usually of material things to represent yourself, such as a Piaget watch, but also of personal qualities, such as ostentatiously dominating a meeting with ego, and using words you know others cannot understand

Comparisons

Being who you are vs. Being your persona

Wearing your diamond engagement ring, which happens to be big vs. Positioning your hand in such a way that the other person can't miss that you have a big diamond, and finding ways to mention it

Confident, self-assured and somewhat understated nonverbal expression vs. Overdoing the nonverbal so people notice you AND what you want them to notice

Example

Martha-Matithe arrived at the meeting swinging her labels all around. She behaved in such a way that people were forced to notice her designer purse ($500), her designer briefcase ($1000), her new watch ($1000). She "led" with these, sticking them out in other people's faces, and even mentioned that she'd gotten this new watch on her latest cruise to Russia and what a great deal it was.

Henri was quietly self-confident. He dressed and presented himself in a classic and undertoned way that allowed people to focus on who he was and what he was saying rather than what he had on or what he was carrying. In this way they were able to listen to what he said and evaluate it on its own merit. They were able to get a clear picture of what Henri was like.

Key Point

You don't need to be ostentatious to show people who you are and what you are about. In fact it's counterproductive. Many people will see it as coming from insecurity. It will make them uncomfortable.

Benefits

You will represent yourself authentically, according to inner qualities instead of outer objects, and in a way that makes other people comfortable. You will be authentic, not fooling the most important person -- yourself.

Related Distinctions

• Making a point vs. Blustering
  
• Talking vs. Shouting
  
• Gesturing vs. Flailing
  
• Laughing vs. Guffawing

Work with a certified emotional intelligence coach to improve your EQ competencies, and your manner of self-expression. EQ is more important to your life, success, health and happiness than your IQ, and it can be learned. Developing your emotional intelligence will benefit you immediately is every area of your life.

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence." I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines. For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
~ Quentin Crisp ~
Born December 25, 1908

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated August 21st, 2004

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Racing with the Moon
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Rebecca Brents

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Mediterranean Diet Cookbook: A Delicious Alternative for Lifelong Health
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