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	The Passive-Aggressive Co-Worker Part 2 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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The Passive-Aggressive Co-Worker
Part 2
by Susan Dunn

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2. Go around them if you possibly can. Order extra supplies when you don't need them and stockpile them. Write your own memos. Make the phone call yourself. It's just easier in the long run, and will save you a lot of frustration.

3. Confront them with particular behavioral issues. That is, don't go into personalities, which is tempting in this case, but state what happened and how you felt about it.

When they fail to deliver, state this. "I asked you to XXX and you said you would, and then you didn't." Then just let it hang. Sometimes when they've been "uncovered," they'll respond better to you.

4. Go directly to your supervisor and state the problem in behavioral terms. Deal with facts and give specific examples. Show how the P-A person is hampering your productivity, and ask your supervisor what you should do about it.

5. If you have any leverage over the person, use it. Document, and deal with hard consequences immediately. The sooner you nip it in the bud, the better. I've seen it work to say, "Some day you're going to need my help on something. I'd suggest you cooperate with me so when you need my help, it will be there."

6. When you must give this person an assignment (but are not their direct supervisor), ask them directly about results. "This must be completed by noon on Thursday. Will you have it ready then?" Wait for a "yes" or a "no."

7. Keep your head clear to circumvent the mind games. Yes, they intentionally mean to be harmful. I so often hear clients say, after a long lament about the circumstances and how they were "done in," "But they're a good person. I know they didn't mean to do that."

Unfortunately, yes they DID "mean to do that." The catch is, they may not be conscious, or mindful, of what they're doing; in fact usually they are not. So direct confrontation doesn't work. They can deny all day long, and will have plenty of excuses. Sometimes you'll be greeted with a nasty smile, you know, the kind that makes you want to strangle them; or simply a shrug.

8. Don't think you can change them. If they know they have protection, they have no motivation to change. This is a deeply ingrained personality trait and you aren't going to be the one to change what it took years to develop. No kindness is going to help.

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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence." I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines. For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

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Last updated September 24th, 2004

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