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	Dating Myths That Puzzle Men Part 1 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

Dating Myths That Puzzle Men
Part 1
by Susan Dunn

Page: 1 2

Women don't like men who are nice to them.

Being "too" nice means giving up your Personal Power, an EQ competency, and slipping way over an early boundary line doesn't leave the woman enough time to find out what she needs to about you.

Being "nice" means being accommodating, which means you're focusing more on being what you think the woman wants than on being who you are. She needs time to get to know you as you.

Personally, I like considerate behavior and good manners at first, and then the greater-niceness can come on after I know the man a bit. If it just appears, I don't see the connection to me and think it's routine. See?

It was immediate for me, what's her problem?

Women just don't operate that way. "It," meaning sexual attraction, is immediate for men, and 99% visual. It is NOT for woman. Put this statement into your Empathy-bank!

It is visual for women; they want a handsome man.

In most surveys women say they want a man who's well groomed, is clean and smells good. That women would have to mention this should give you a big clue. Then interpersonal skills are mentioned such as sense of humor and interesting conversationalist, and being interested in them and their lives. Sorry, big guy, they want YOU, not just a part of you or a pretty face.

Get flexible in your thinking (an EQ competency), and understand that women and men don't think alike. Most female clients I talk to are leery of very handsome men, incidentally. They feel it will have kept them from developing character.

If I try harder, I can win her over.

Feelings can't be manufactured. If you're determined to make the woman like you, you're moving away from Authenticity and into manipulation, and she can tell. It's self-defeating to attempt this, but even more so when you try to appeal to reason and logic.

I remember being sweet-talked by a guy who just smelled musty and unclean. We have 3 brains -reptilian, limbic and neocortex. The last one is the thinking brain, and it has the least influence, and the least of all in matters of the heart.

Brute sexual attraction is in the reptilian brain, but so is disgust. If you are sexually attracted to a woman no one can TALK you out of it, and if she isn't sexually attracted to you, neither you nor anyone else can TALK her into it.

Then if I kiss her, I'll make it happen.

Whoa there. You're not listening. If it isn't there, it isn't there. Go up, not down. It's in the limbic area (emotions) that relationships and bonds are forged, and true affection develops. This takes time and exposure. From there, the desire for physical intimacy can develop as well.

Page: 1 2

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence." I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines. For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.
~ Ralph Nader ~
Born February 27, 1934

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Last updated April 1st, 2004

Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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