The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Plant Spirit Medicine: The Healing Power of Plants
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	Just How Bad IS That Person You Work For? Part 1 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Just How Bad IS That Person You Work For?
Part 1
by Susan Dunn

Page: 1 2 3

Since I work in Emotional Intelligence, I get emails about some pretty awful managers (as well as colleagues, subordinates and peers). Work takes up a lot of our life, and misery at work is chronically stressful. The questions often amount to, "Can I 'fix' this if I learn more Emotional Intelligence?"

The answer is "yes," but probably not in the way you're thinking. Can you make a nasty person nice by using your EQ skills, such as empathy? You might be able to make the situation better, but it's a big "it depends." Here's what it depends upon.

As has been said, 'a problem you can fix; a fact you just have to live with," and you have to know what you're looking at. Can you ever control someone else and make them the way you want them to be? No. Can you change them? Sometimes, if they have the desire to get along. Can you change your viewpoint? Always.

Now how do you tell what personality you can work with, and what you can't? Narcissistic rage. Get used to that term; you're going to be hearing it more. It's known as "the famous narcissistic rage." You know it if you've had it coming at you. It's a blind, ugly, mindless and virulent kind of rage; an attack.

Now, consider a fairly typical workplace scenario. Your manager is not of the highest EQ. The stress is building as a deadline approaches. Suddenly (s)he blows. Something someone did, or said sets them off, and they burst into a fit of rage. It could be yelling, or swearing, or throwing something, or walking out in a tantrum.

So the next step ... let's say you decide to try some of your EQ skills. Using your empathy, you realize the person was under added stress at the time. Still, you can't tolerate being called a fathead, or incompetent boob, or Captain F-up or whatever the insulting epithet was, and this has been the last straw in a bad working situation to begin with.

After some reflection, when you've calmed down and been able to think it over, you find a good time to go in and talk it out with the manager.

You bring up what happened. You say how it made you feel, request to be treated with more respect, say "let's let bygones be bygones but ." and generally try to talk it out.

Page: 1 2 3

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
~ Robert Benchley ~
Born September 15, 1889

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated January 19th, 2005

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You Don't Have to Take It!: A Woman's Guide to Confronting Emotional Abuse at Work
By
Ginny Nicarthy, Naomi Gottlieb, Sandra Coffman