The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra, and the Kama Sutra
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	How to Chat Someone Up 101 For Introverts Part 3 by Nancy R. Fenn Be My Astrologer
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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How to Chat Someone Up 101
For Introverts
Part 3
by Nancy R. Fenn

Page: 1 2 3

Here's a list of questions you can ask any extrovert that they will probably enjoy answering.

(1) "What's new?"

It's hard to realize that this is a legitimate way to start a conversation but it usually works if said with enthusiasm and expectation. Or you might try, "What's new? I haven't seen you for awhile .... prompting them to continue with raised eyebrows of expectation!"

(2) Let something on the person catch your eye.

This works especially well for intuitives (the ENs or Ins in personality typing) -- and comment like this ... "Where'd you get that [gorgeous leather purse][totally unique green hat][efficient looking daytimer][antique desk], [adorable Vintage costume]? It looks so cool!"

Say this with enthusiasm not earnestness. You don't really want to know but you want someone to talk to you tonight! (2) Here's another one ... "Boy the traffic was really something on the way over here! Did you have trouble getting here on time, too?"

They can go either way with this and it may also lead to a discussion of cars, policemen, intersections, routes, the way the town is {growing][shrinking], etc.

(3) If you're at a meeting and I hope you're at several of these a month as they're the easiest ways to meet people and network ...

"Great speaker, wasn't it? Do you like public speaking?" or "That guy was pretty interesting. Wonder who got him for the speaker. Ever heard of him before?" or "What'd you think of the speaker?" [can go either way]

Then just listen. Hopefully there will be some dramatic reaction or colorful stories you can enjoy hearing about.

(4) "How about the X's [name a professional ball team] game last week? That was really something!"

This conversation can go either way. Remember to keep it to small talk, so mostly you want to keep the person talking rather than really exchanging significant information or taking the topic somewhere that it could get antagonistic.

(5) Also at the meeting ... "This is a really nice [setting] [restaurant] [dining room] [campus] [car], isn't it?

Very interesting decor." With any luck at all, they will have a strong opinion, some experience in other places that were [better][worse] and you can listen.

These are questions your extroverted associates should enjoy talking about. If you listen actively when they reply, you can get them to carry the conversation for awhile as they warm to the topic.

To extend conversations like this so you don't have to go somewhere else and start all over, try peppering your listening with what are calling "flavoring" words and phrases. These are verbal cues for the person to continue talking. They are said in an inviting tone of voice. We are inviting the person to continue by showing interest.

"Really? Tell me more."

"Where'd you learn that?"

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Where'd you find that out?"

"Where can I find something like that?"

"It must have taken a lot of time to find that out."

"You're really good at this, aren't you?" Of course if the person you're talking to is an introvert, you'll want to keep it short and move on since both of you dislike small talk.

Once we get the idea of what small talk is, we can join in as well as everyone else. Remember the general rule is to keep the topic so "small" or open--ended that nobody feels left out or antagonized. Save your "big" talk, your serious conversations, for your introverted honey back home in front of the fire.

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See more fine articles by Nancy Fenn in our Seers and Sages section and our Coaches and Counselors section.

Nancy R. Fenn is an astrologer and intuitive consultant in the San Diego area. She enjoys working with intuitives, creatives and visionaries to help them discover their vision for the future and their mission in life. She has an international clientele and maintains a website full of good resources for astrologers of all levels. Nancy is also the Introverts' Coach providing support and resources for the eight different types of introverts. Introversion is a legitimate personality type and not a failure to be an extrovert.

You can find Nancy at: Be My Astrologer, The IntrovertZ Coach, Be My Guide, I Design Webpages.

Nancy invites all introverts to take the Six Weeks' Online Self Discovery Course, a course designed by introverts for introverts. Raise your awareness, heal and understand yourself better, recover your positive identity and raise your self esteem. Click through to: Introverts' Self Discovery Course for more information.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
~ Robert Benchley ~
Born September 15, 1889

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Last updated January 29th, 2005

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Welcome Home : Following Your Soul's Journey Home
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