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Dating Someone from Another Faith Part 3 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching |
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Dating Someone from Another Faith Part 3 by Susan Dunn
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In just about anything in life, first you have to learn the rules. Then you learn how to break them. Back to the dog analogy. After owning dogs for more years than some of my readers have been alive, I'd go somewhere with likely candidates and then choose a dog that appeals to me. That's because I've had a lot of experience with dogs, and I have good intuition, an EQ competency.
Intuition is leading from heart and suspending the intellect. Of course I would set forth with certain intellectual parameters in mind. I don't want a dog that's known to bite any more than I'd want a date who's know to bite!
Good intuition allows you to suspend the intellect, which is important in matters of the heart. For instance, I know now that an English Spring Spaniel can make a wonderful animal companion, and so can a Basset, a Heinz 57 and a Siberian Husky. By the same token, I know I can enjoy a male companion with a Ph.D., an M.A., no college but lots of smarts, or an M.D. In other words, I don't "rule out" on the education (or the breed).
However, I also know that a dog that can't be house-broken, or one that bites, or one that's too abused to be able to enjoy people isn't a good choice, any more than a man with too much emotional baggage, or a set of bad habits such as addiction, is also not a good choice. I will "rule out" on those parameters.
There's a kind of list that works, and a kind that doesn't. If you spend some time doing your homework, you'll have better luck. Learn how to make a list that works, and develop your intuition. Then you can date in an emotionally intelligent way.
Why be the tree that bends so it doesn't break? Because you might meet someone who would be an outstanding life partner for you who doesn't happen to have something that's on your list. In other words, be flexible about your list. Generally speaking, you can bend on almost anything except a character or personality trait, and you can even bend on a personality trait if there's enough good in the relationship.
For instance, more than one client I've worked with has found out that the "boring" man they were considering turned out to have the sort of stable, consistent personality traits that made for a good life partner, and that a pretty face is just another pretty face.
Look beneath the surface and have a list that allows for what really counts. Good luck!
(c) 2005 Susan Dunn, All rights reserved
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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.
Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence." I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines. For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

Don't ever talk until you know what you're talking about. ~ Sam Rayburn ~ Born January 6, 1882
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