Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
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Rebecca Brents
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by Mark Brandenburg, MA, CPCC
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As I planned an all-day trip last weekend with my daughter, I remember going down a list of "critical" projects that would have to wait for another day: visiting my parents, a work project, mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, getting some much-needed exercise, and weeding the "jungle" that was once our garden. All of these things would have to be put on hold for awhile.
My daughter Sarah, her cousin Annie, and Annie's father Bill and I went on a day trip to the birthplace of Laura Ingalls Wilder in Pepin, Wisconsin. It was a day of simple pleasures and discussions about what frontier life must have been like. The imaginations of our daughters were soaring, and they had a day they'll remember forever.
I think their fathers did, too.
And while we had a wonderful time, I'm aware that this day almost didn't happen. This wonderful day that will be etched in the mind of my daughter forever almost didn't happen, because life almost got in the way. I had almost given in to the voices that told me that there were "too many other things" that needed to be done.
All across this country fathers (and mothers) are being squeezed by the demands of work and family. Our free time each week to spend with our families has steadily decreased. In a society that continually promotes products that will save us time, we have less time than ever before.
In her book, "Embracing Your Father, Building the Relationship You Want with Your Dad," author Linda Nielsen, Ed.D, points out some interesting statistics:
Eighty percent of the fathers in our country earn most of the money for their families.
Counting the time spent commuting, working, doing house and yard work, and being with the kids, the average father has 5 hours less free time each week than the average employed mother.
On average, employed fathers work 10 more hours a week than employed mothers.
Most fathers want to spend more time with their kids but don't feel as though they can "afford" it. And when they do spend more time with their kids, they feel themselves falling behind in other areas of their life. This "squeeze" can prevent us from making the kinds of decisions that allow us to be closer to our children.
Sarah bounded up the stairs after our trip, her eyes beaming and wearing the Laura Ingalls Wilder bonnet that I'd bought for her. As she jumped up into my arms she said, "Thanks for the great day, daddy, I love you."
As I lingered there for a moment after she'd left, it all became clear to me. This day with my daughter, this beautiful day, had been lumped in with all the other "responsibilities" I have in my life.
And it has no business being there.
It belongs in a place that's untouched by other duties and responsibilities we face in our lives. A place that we absolutely commit to and hold as sacred. Because it's a place that will touch our hearts like no other.
I think we can all afford to fall behind in our other duties.
How about you?
(c) 2004 Mark Brandenburg, All rights reserved
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships.
He is an Instructor for the Academy for Coaching Parents, and author of "Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers" Ecourse.
All artists dream of a silence which they must enter, as some creatures return to the sea to spawn.
~ Iris Murdoch ~
Born July 15, 1919
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Last updated April 25th, 2005
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