Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
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Rebecca Brents

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The Survivor Personality: Why Some People Are Stronger, Smarter, and More Skillful at Handling Life's Difficulties ... and How You Can Be, Too
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Al Siebert, Bernie S. Siegel

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	What on Earth Happened? by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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What on Earth Happened?
by Susan Dunn

It happens to the best of us sooner or later. As Robert Burns wrote, "The best laid schemes o' mice and men./Gang aft a-gley,/And leave us naught but grief and pain/For promised joy." He was Scottish. Roughly translated this means plan as you may, things don't always work out the way you meant them to!

In fact, you learn as time goes by to enjoy the planning stage. It's the most conceptual, idealistic, and manageable part of the whole deal.

When I plan a trip, I relish every moment. My plans do not involve car breakdowns, carsick children, delayed flights, hotel rooms with broken AC, nasty waiters, quarrelsome travel-mates, and uncooperative weather.

When I plan a presentation, I ignore the possibility of a stuffy room, strange comments from participants, someone having a heart attack, a run in my pantyhose, forgetting a key point, or a rocking cruise ship that makes the slides bounce about so as to be incomprehensible.

You see what I mean?

How can you possibly anticipate all the bizarre things that can happen?

All our plans contain an element of fantasy. If you think this is begging the task, no less than General Dwight D. Eisenhower said, "Planning is useless ... but the process itself is indispensable."

I have to laugh at the time I decided I'd become a bit too compulsive about travel plans, having enjoyed a run of perfect adventures, so decided to just get there, find one of those nice bed and breakfasts by the side of the road and pull in. After all, I figured, there would always be a Motel 6 to pull into if something more enticing didn't present itself.

So I arrived in Boston the weekend of some regatta and there wasn't a hotel room available for miles around, I discovered at midnight. Well at least one under $300 a night ... Which I was forced to take.

It doesn't work not to plan, but it doesn't work to plan either. Plan we must, but have a Plan B, and your Plan B should include a lot of emotional intelligence. The more devoted you are to planning, the worse you're going to take it when your plans go a-gley, which means your emotions will be churning.

However ... getting angry, shouting at your travel partner, panicing, getting depressed and giving up, or cursing your fate are not helpful. Problem-focused coping works a lot better than emotionally-based coping. It's time to calm yourself (breathe, breathe), regain your composure, get up to your thinking-brain, and start planning again. Skip the part where you berate yourself. The going astray is obligatory. The pain and grief are optional.

A lot depends upon your sense of Personal Power, an EQ competency. It means, basically, knowing that you can handle whatever comes up; that you aren't helpless, and the situation isn't hopeless. One of the greatest traits you can have is resilience, being able to switch immediately to a Plan B, after you've come up with it, of course. There always is one. There are always options and alternatives.

In fact after years of public speaking, I began not to plan at all. I knew my topics and knew audiences in general, but after showing up to speak to 20 people and finding 200 (or vice versa), finding myself in a bar (cruise ship) instead of a conference room, being promised equipment which wasn't there, competing with waiters carrying in trays of food, or a band in the next room ... why bother to plan.

One way you can learn resilience in the face of The Relentless Uncontrollable Forces That Be is to process when things went poorly. If you think back over a time when you didn't handle things well, you'll see all the points where you could've done something differently. After all, it isn't what happens, it's how you take it.

Perhaps you had a negative attitude, as in "This never should've happened to me," or "That was really stupid of me to count on ...." You could switch this to, "Funny this should happen to me," and "How odd this blew up in my face when I'm such a good planner and things generally go well for me." You can see that your attribution of the disaster has a lot to do with your ability to cope and to bounce back.

If you think the world shouldn't work the way it sometimes does, or if you become discouraged because one thing went wrong one time when most of what you plan most of the time goes right, you only add a burden to a burden, increasing the emotional load you're already under. You'll end up giving so much credence to one misadventure it looms a lot larger in your psyche than it needs to, and well, you know you attract what you think about, yes?

It's almost a given that we don't remember the times things went well with nearly the intensity of the times things didn't go well. (doh)

Dare to lighten up! It will help you carry on. Plan away, because it's mandatory. And when it doesn't work out the way you meant it to, well, if the commanding general of the victorious Allied Forces in World War II and 34th president of the US discovered planning was useless ... I love that quote, don't you?

Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
~ Robert Benchley ~
Born September 15, 1889

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Last updated June 25th, 2005

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The Field: The Quest for the Secret Force of the Universe
By
Lynne McTaggart