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	Making Small Talk Networking Help for the Introvert Part 2 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Making Small Talk
Networking Help for the Introvert
Part 2
by Susan Dunn

Page: 1 2

Then they move down to the break room where people have gathered. Tomaso enters and takes the extended hand of Saul, the CFO and shakes it firmly. Saul™s a talker, and all Tomaso has to do is listen to Saul brag. His senses remain alert to who else is entering the room. He takes the temperature and listens for conversational cues.

Perhaps there's a new employee, or someone's sick, or has been promoted. Anne walks in. An introvert, she™s the most important person to Tomaso. She works for the Supply Manager, the one who orders the paper. Tomas moves toward Anne, remaining at the farther distance introverts prefer, and just beams, radiating warmth.

He relaxes his body, extends his palms slightly forward, suggesting, though not initiating a hug. He knows Anne™s the œmother? of the group, and suspects she will hug him, which she does, but he knows to let the introvert lead. He™s just available for what will likely transpire. And so it proceeds. Keen to the different personalities he™s dealing with, he works the room mostly by standing there smiling.

When he leaves, after just a few minutes, Anne asks, œIs he the one who™s wife is expecting?? No one can answer. Things went well; Tomaso didn™t talk about himself.

Much of what we call œrelating,? has to do with listening, with a few filler phrases and nonverbals. Here are a few. Say and do them without anxiety, and you™ll have most of the work done:

Raise your eyebrows and say, œOh really??

Purse your lips and furrow your brows and say, œIs that right? I didn™t know that.?

Smile, maintain an open body posture, move slowly, observe preferred distances in position, and say just about anything light and inconsequential: œGood to see you,? œBoy, red is really your color,? or œHow about them Bears??

Use facts with men; talk to women about their appearance. Nothing suggestive, of course. Notice a bracelet, a ring.

Notice that Tomaso calls the women œChula,? (no translation) " just affectionate and complimentary, with no sexual overtones. And notice he calls all the women this. Don't play favorites, or rather don't get caught playing favorites! The less you say the better, and of course avoid controversial topics, which can sometimes include such innocuous topics as weather and traffic, if they™re particularly bad.

It™s been over 100 degrees in my town for a week, 102 yesterday, and it was THE ONE THING nobody was talking about. Avoiding the most obvious thing on your mind is often a good policy.

When in doubt, talk about what™s right in front of you. For instance, about the tacos " œDid you find one you like? Did I bring enough hot sauce??

œWhat™s new?? always works. So does, œHow are you doing??

The introvert is the perfect audience for the extrovert, and in work groups, you can both expect far more extroverts, and count on that many of the introverts will be acting like extroverts. There™s far less need to make conversation than you may fear.

Things to avoid? Anything heavy, including being œtoo? anything. The trick is to appear like you™re not trying at all. Resist urges to get introspective, say anything significant, or teach anything. For more specific tips, see œNetworking for Introverts.?

At the bottom line, all that™s required of you is that you show up, and stay out of trouble. The less you say, the less likely you™ll be to get into trouble, which is easy for interoverts. Since most people are clamoring for attention and dying to be heard, your work is a whole lot easier than you might think. Smile, listen, be light and neutral, stay ... and return.

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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence." I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines. For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
~ Harry Shearer ~
Born December 23, 1943

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