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How to Find the Right Man for You Part 2 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching |
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How to Find the Right Man for You Part 2 by Susan Dunn
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People have analogous reactions, so name your poison (eliminating the obvious extremes no on could live with). All couples fight, and we all fight over the same things -- money, sex, the kids, housework, and from H.A.L.T. -- when one or both of them is too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.
What separates the winning relationships from the losing relationships is when the couple has good conflict resolution skills, able to soothe one another instead of escalate. In the ideal world, we would like our partner to remain calm but engaged, acknowledge our feelings and work for a peaceful solution to the problem. Most of us humans manage to do that sometimes. Whether your potential partner pouts, shouts or outs, are they aware of what's going on and invested in improving your relationship?
A WOMAN AND HER DOG
To test her theory, I thought back on dogs I've owned and what worked and what didn't. Since I had sons, I chose the dogs with the kids in mind, but there were two I choose mostly for myself within that parameter.
Booty was a Siberian husky. Like Wilson, I'm not big on fawning. I was also tired of droopy-eared dogs (the smell, the medication), vacuuming dog hair and listening to the boys sneeze, needed a dog I could pick up if necessary, and one that was good with kids.
Booty fit the bill; probably the best breed in terms of allergies, no shedding, and they're known for being protective of children. Huskies are also silent, like wolves. In other words, what I like is low maintenance, sociable but not desperate, protective of loved ones, and quiet. I loved her beauty, too, but that's not something I must have, it's a values-added extra.
However, the one I loved the most, was Texas John, a little Heinz 57 my son brought home. He was just a character -- spunky, low maintenance, full of personality, and endearing -- witness that he chewed a hole in my mink coat and lived to chew again.
Though he was little, he was no lap dog. He held his own in a busy household (even the cat was bigger than he was). He was extremely stress tolerant. He managed never to get stepped on, and wasn't nervous or yappy. These are things I like in a man -- independent, tough, steady nerves, and low maintenance, yet captivating. He had a swagger. In fact we sometimes referred to that little dog as "manly."
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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.
Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence." I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines. For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. ~ Danny Kaye ~ Born January 18, 1913
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