What's The Matter?
Cat Got Your Tongue?
Part 2
by Nancy R. Fenn
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Another introvert, Sydney, writes, " My ex-husband was an introvert like me, and he seemed to understand. When I became silent and drew into myself he would just come and get me and hold me in his arms. He was wonderful that way, so patient. I think only another introvert could understand."
These introverts are typical of the scars some of us have about trying to communicate with others on their terms. It is a touchy area for us.
We Say More In Less Words
When we get around to saying something on matters less significant than Oral exams for a PhD and the death of a mother, we generally say more in less words than anyone. However, it's nice if it's left up to us to decide when we have something we think is significant to say. We almost to a one HATE small talk.
We Are Anything From Bewildered To Hysterically Vexed And Annoyed To Distraction By Small Talk
Small talk makes no sense to us. We are anything from bewildered to hysterically vexed and annoyed to distraction by small talk. If we become good at it to fit in, it is very exhausting for us and we resent having to pay that price to the majority culture. [Visit PRODUCTS PAGE to purchase buttons and bumper stickers advocating NO SMALL TALK.]
It Works For Us When You Do The Talking And We Do The Listening
So, as an infp introvert myself, and one who is on the borderline "e" and "i", I can assure you it is usually very wonderful when being with an extrovert that you do so much of the talking. We introverts are superb listeners and it is a very active thing for us.
That's why we find it exhausting to be with people. We are very actively engaged in the process of listening. It is important to grasp this difference. When you're talking, we aren't preparing out next witty remark to impress you or hear ourselves talk.
We are following your words carefully to get the meaning of your commnication and we will ask you amazing questions and weave a tapestry with you -- real dialogue is possible between an introvert and an extrovert as it sometimes is not between two extroverts or two introverts.
Most of us are aware that we are very good at listening. Some of us have been told this all our lives, too. Margot writes, "When I first starting dating, I was told I was 'such a good listener'. I thought it was because my mother, the Southern Belle, told ne to let the guy do all the talking but as it so happened, this was a talent of mine anyway. It made me a very popular date."
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See more fine articles by Nancy Fenn in our Seers and Sages section and our Coaches and Counselors section.

Nancy R. Fenn is an astrologer and intuitive consultant in the San Diego area. She enjoys working with intuitives, creatives and visionaries to help them discover their vision for the future and their mission in life. She has an international clientele and maintains a website full of
good resources for astrologers of all levels. Nancy is also the Introverts' Coach providing support and resources for the eight different types of introverts. Introversion is a legitimate personality type and not a failure to be an extrovert.
You can find Nancy at: Be My Astrologer, The IntrovertZ Coach, Be My Guide, I Design Webpages.
Nancy invites all introverts to take the Six Weeks' Online Self Discovery Course, a course designed by introverts for introverts. Raise your awareness, heal and understand yourself better, recover your positive identity and raise your self esteem. Click through to: Introverts' Self Discovery Course for more information.