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Nitty-Gritty Tips for the Single Woman for the Holidays Part 1 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching |
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Nitty-Gritty Tips for the Single Woman for the Holidays Part 1 by Susan Dunn
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Sorry to Be "Alone" on Christmas? Are You Kidding? Here's the skinny from someone who knows. I was married for many years with children, then a single parent, so I've experienced many different kinds of Christmases.
The fear of "being alone for the holidays" is almost as strong as our fear of public speaking, and is probably more of a projection -- a fear of the unknown. However, it's predicted that by 1020, 47.2% of us will be unmarried (Source: American Association of Single Persons.)
The stressors at Christmas time are different for single folk, and not what you might imagine. For one thing we have a lot more choices than our married friends.
If you're single and not with people for the holidays, it's a choice. Read on! And remember, you can be more "lonely" with a person who's unable to connect than enjoying yourself in solitary activities!
1. Focus on what bad things you don't have to endure, rather than the good things you don't get to experience.
You will NOT have sick kids, kids in meltdown, husbands in meltdown, arguments over money, in-laws for 3 days, a drive to Elberta, AL, someone mad whether you go to church or don't, his drunk Aunt Edna at your holiday table, his mother's nasty broccoli and rice casserole, the Bickersons on your left, or any reason to get up before 10 am on Christmas Day unless you want to.
2. Remember that with a divorce rate in the US of 50%, half those married couples are miserable.
Nor would there be all those articles on the Internet about how to cope with the annual family gathering. It isn't all Norman Rockwell.
3. Please do exactly what you want to do for your holiday.
I'm a big advocate for this. One of the more difficult things is to eat alone at a 5-star restaurant. Do this as a form of self-discipline and advocacy, as I have, and for that reason only (not because friends aren't available).
If the alternative is to eat at some home you don't want to (and be aware some people will invite you over because they can't stand one another and don't get along), then embrace this option and master it. Decide, as I did, that being a single woman is not going to limit your life in any way. Like when you DO go out, DRESS. (It's for YOU, not anyone else.)
4. Raise consciousness.
Train waitpeople. I have, and I notice it's slowly catching on. Instead of "dining alone?" or "just one?" I prefer "one for dinner?" don't you? Gently inform your friends that, "You know if you don't have anywhere else to go, you can come over here for Christmas Dinner," is not an invitation. This is an invitation: "We'd love for you to join us for Christmas Dinner. Are you free?"
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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous. ~ Robert Benchley ~ Born September 15, 1889
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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it. |
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