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Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
By
Rebecca Brents


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The Reading Room

Letting Go of Beliefs That Don't Work
Part 1
by Susan Dunn
Momentum Coaching

Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.
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 A Zen Look at Dating and Religious Beliefs  Susan Dunn Contents  What's the Baggage Limit on Mid-Life Flights? 

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Are you seeking a more meaningful, more focused creative dimension to life? Nourish your Inner Artist with our new creativity class. Answering Creativity's Call presents an hour and a half of lessons and lectures, packed with inspiration, information, strategies and support to help you be the creator you want to be and live the creative life you want to have. Learn more here: Creativity Class

Letting Go of Beliefs That Don't Work
Part 1
by Susan Dunn

Page: 1 2 3

You have learned something.
That always feels at first
as if you had lost something.
~ H. G. Wells ~

It struck me like thunder," Cammie said. "I was sitting in class hearing about rigid people, and I recognized my father. Could it be true the things he'd taught me weren't right? All the time I thought he was the authority on everything. It was like I was sitting there taking notes. He sounded a lot like the "Type A" personality the teacher was talking about. I began to sort out things I'd learned from him and to see how they were holding me back. It was one of the hardest things to face I've ever been through. He taught me to take his word for gospel. But I could see how it had driven my boyfriend away. The fact that I always thought I had to be right.

Most of the self-talk that goes on in our heads, we got from our parents. Maybe from one of them more than the other. In Cammie's case, it was from her dad.

Thomas got a lot of messages from his mother, because his parents were divorced when he was 6.

I realized," says Thomas, "how little I thought of myself and how much it had to do with what my mother was always telling me. I think she really hated men because me dad left her. It was like I kept trying to prove things to myself about myself that weren't even true. One day I made a list of the things I remember her telling me . men are no good . men don't know how to love . things like that. It took a while to get rid of all that.

As I cover in my book, "Changing Beliefs, Self-limiting Thoughts and What to Accept," one of the hardest things to do is change your beliefs. Many of us just go on operating under the same beliefs even though they don't work. Usually we don't know it's the beliefs that aren't working, we blame it on other things. So we try harder, redoubling out efforts hoping to bring about different results.

It doesn't work that way! Doing more of the same is only going to bring your more of the same.

We may not even know they're beliefs. We think of them as absolutes, and when we find someone who doesn't think the same thing, we avoid them. Therefore we never learn anything new.

When we do give up a long-held belief, it feels like something is missing, that's for sure. We feel like we've lost something big, a large part of ourselves. You wonder what else you might be believing and operating on that's false or non-productive. Therefore it takes courage.

When I'm coaching, I listen carefully to hear the client's self-talk. I hear all sorts of awful things. Some people are more mindful of these things than others, but they do slip out. Under stress, we tend to revert to old messages . I could never succeed . no on would ever love me . I'm such a fool . things like that.

Page: 1 2 3

Susan DunnSusan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
~ Robert Benchley ~
Born September 15, 1889


 A Zen Look at Dating and Religious Beliefs  Susan Dunn Contents  What's the Baggage Limit on Mid-Life Flights? 

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Last updated December 5th, 2007

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