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The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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The Reading Room

A Zen Look at Dating and Religious Beliefs
Part 2
by Susan Dunn
Momentum Coaching

Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.
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 The Perils of Nonverbal Communication  Susan Dunn Contents  Letting Go of Beliefs That Don't Work 

Are You a Writer? A Musician? A Photographer? An Artist?
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A Zen Look at Dating and Religious Beliefs
Part 2
by Susan Dunn

Page: 1 2 3

3. ZEN: "If you are too excited by joy, later you will have to cry."
Tibetan saying.

EQ COMPETENCY: Reality-testing.

Roughly translated this means that it's best to go slow and find a person with a modulated response to you. Don't get so excited you aren't paying attention. Even soul-mates may disagree on how to load the dishwasher. How can you expect exact alignment in the articulation of a religious belief? Therefore, number 4.

4. ZEN: "We think in generalities but we live in detail."
Alfred North Whitehead

EQ COMPETENCY: Impulse control

Take the time to get to know the person in little and daily ways. Someone can talk one way and act another. They can say they don't believe in abusing animals (or anything else) and still do it. Only time will tell.

5. ZEN: "Think with the whole body."
Taisen Deshimaru

EQ COMPETENCY: Intuition

Oddly enough, thinking with the whole body is what intuition is about. The quickest and surest way to know whether it's a fit is to use your intuition (gut feeling, instincts). How do you know your gut feeling? From you gut! Your body sends you physiological messages. Can you completely relax with this person? If so, there is deep trust, the foundation of lasting relationships.

Has your health deteriorated since dating them? If so, and there's no obvious physical cause, move on. Tricky because dating raises stress levels, which affect our immune system, which IS our health. Give it time. There's EUstress and there's DIStress. Know the difference. Work with a certified EQ coach.

6. ZEN: "We do not want churches because they will teach us to quarrel about God."
Chief Joseph

EQ COMPETENCY: Constructive discontent.

When there are disagreements, figure out what you're really arguing about. If it's just semantics, it's just semantics. It was in vogue, for instance, in the Renaissance to debate how many angels would fit on the head of a pin. This is hardly likely to play itself out in how the person lives their life. It's an intellectual exercise.

7. ZEN: "A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it."
Rabindranath Tagore

EQ COMPETENCY: Integrated self.

The interface between intellect and emotions. Someone who engages in intellectual repartee about matters of the heart hasn't got it together, and you don't need to get-together with them. Wouldn't you rather be loved than understood, if it came to that (and it will)?

sdunn@susandunn.cc
Author's URL: Susan Dunn

Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach. Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. Featuring EQ Alive! Coach Certification Program - fast, affordable, no-residency, training coaches worldwide. sdunn@susandunn.cc for more information, free ezine.

Page: 1 2 3

Susan DunnSusan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
~ Robert Benchley ~
Born September 15, 1889


 The Perils of Nonverbal Communication  Susan Dunn Contents  Letting Go of Beliefs That Don't Work 

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Last updated December 11th, 2007

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