The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Racing with the Moon
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Rebecca Brents

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Seven Choices: Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World
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Elizabeth Harper Neeld

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	Coping with Your Abuser Part 4 by Sam Vaknin
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Coping with Your Abuser
Part 4
by Sam Vaknin

Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6

(1c) Frighten Him

Identify the vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of the narcissist and strike repeated, escalating blows at them.

If a narcissist has a secret or something he wishes to conceal -- use your knowledge of it to threaten him. Drop cryptic hints that there are mysterious witnesses to the events and recently revealed evidence. Do it cleverly, noncommittally, gradually, in an escalating manner.

Let his imagination do the rest. You don't have to do much except utter a vague reference, make an ominous allusion, delineate a possible turn of events.

Needless to add that all these activities have to be pursued legally, preferably through the good services of law offices and in broad daylight. If done in the wrong way -- they might constitute extortion or blackmail, harassment and a host of other criminal offences.

(1d) Lure Him

Offer him continued Narcissistic Supply. You can make a narcissist do anything by offering, withholding, or threatening to withhold Narcissistic Supply (adulation, admiration, attention, sex, awe, subservience, etc.).

(1e) Play on his Fear of Abandonment

If nothing else works, explicitly threaten to abandon him.

You can condition the threat ("If you don't do something or if you do it -- I will desert you").

The narcissists perceives the following as threats of abandonment, even if they are not meant as such:

Confrontation, fundamental disagreement, and protracted criticism

When completely ignored

When you insist on respect for your boundaries, needs, emotions, choices, preferences

When you retaliate (for instance, shout back at him).

II. I can't Take It Any Longer -- I Have Decided to Leave Him

(IIa) Fight Him in Court

Here are a few of the things the narcissist finds devastating, especially in a court of law, for instance during a deposition:

Any statement or fact, which seems to contradict his inflated perception of his grandiose self. Any criticism, disagreement, exposure of fake achievements, belittling of "talents and skills" which the narcissist fantasizes that he possesses, any hint that he is subordinated, subjugated, controlled, owned or dependent upon a third party.

Any description of the narcissist as average and common, indistinguishable from many others. Any hint that the narcissist is weak, needy, dependent, deficient, slow, not intelligent, naive, gullible, susceptible, not in the know, manipulated, a victim.

Sam Vaknin is the author of Malignant Self Love -- Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain -- How the West Lost the East. He is a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, and eBookWeb , a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent, and the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory Bellaonline, and Suite101 .

Until recently, he served as the Economic Advisor to the Government of Macedonia.

Visit Sam's Web site at http://samvak.tripod.com
Contact him at: palma@unet.com.mk

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Are you looking for more information on Self-Promotion, Self-Confidence, Creativity, Leadership, Leisure, and Romance?

Leo is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Self-Promotion, Self-Confidence, Creativity, Leadership, Leisure, and Romance. Learn more about Leo.
The information here tells all about Leo Astrology.

Leo Horoscope

The four cornerstones of character on which the structure of this nation was built are: Initiative, Imagination, Individuality and Independence.
~ Edward Rickenbacker ~
Born October 8, 1890

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated August 21st, 2004

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Tell Me More About the Tarot
By
Rebecca Brents

Sometimes getting the right answer means asking the right question.

Life is full of hints, signs, and advice ... if you know where to look and what you're looking for.

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A Woman's Best Medicine: Health, Happiness, and Long Life Through Maharishi Ayur-Veda
By
Nancy Lonsdorf, M.D.