The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Rebecca Brents

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Practicing the Presence of the Goddess: Everyday Rituals to Transform Your World
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	Love Your Self, Learn to Say No Part 1 by Sharon L. Demarte Sharon Demarte
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Love Your Self, Learn to Say No
Part 1
by Sharon L. Demarte

Page: 1 2

No is a powerful word. I once took a street defense class with my daughter, Shelly. In simulated exercises, men in helmets and padded clothing approached us in menacing ways and we were taught how to protect ourselves.

These simulations felt amazingly real! Saying "NO!" was always the first step. We learn to say no loudly and from a place of inner strength. There was something about the way we were taught to say no that seemed to increase our overall strength; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Most of us have a hard time saying no and don't say it often enough. Saying no is about setting and maintaining boundaries around our "Real Selves"; our feelings, thoughts, beliefs, choices, needs, values, dreams, hopes and resources (money, energy, & time).

Boundaries are about saying no to everything that diminishes our lives in any way so that we can say yes to those things that enrich, enhance and nurture our lives.

How many people do you know who have good boundaries? I can think of a few, but not many. It's not surprising given that most of us were raised to not be selfish and we often see saying no as being selfish.

Also, it's likely that few of us had any good role models for setting boundaries. As far as I know, boundaries are not taught in schools. Oh, some specialty programs, like psychology, touch on boundaries, but for the most part, boundaries are not something we learn about through formal education.

Martha Beck (you may have seen her on Oprah), in her book "Finding Your Own North Star," writes, "Take your age and subtract two. That's the number of years you've spent forcing yourself to say 'yes' when your essential (Real) self wanted to say 'no'." I love that! It's so true for most of us.

I cringe when I hear a parent tell a child "Don't be selfish". I cringe because being taught to not be selfish caused so much pain in my own life. I was raised to think that being selfish was about the worst thing I could be.

It was so ingrained in me that I did anything and everything to avoid being selfish. I said yes when I wanted to say no, I put everyone else before myself, I gave when I couldn't afford to give, and I minimized my own wants and needs. This all led to my being "Self-Less".

Being Self-Less is about not having a clear sense of your Real Self; of who you are, of what you want and of what you think. When you are Self-Less, you have a hard time making healthy choices.

Go to: Self-Improvement for Aries, Self-Assertion, Self-Improvement for Pisces, Self-Care

Page: 1 2

Sharon Demarte is a Quality of Life Coach. She coaches individuals by telephone and internet, helping her clients close the gap between where they are and where they want to be. Her clients come from all walks of life. She works best with people who have a strong desire, a willingness to take action, and are motivated to increase the quality of their lives ? sometimes even in difficult situations.

One of her specialties is working with Caregivers. She works with caregivers to help them avoid caregiver burnout and maintain their own health, well-being and quality of life while caring for another. She also loves to work with people who are Too Young To Retire ? they are the age of customary retirement, but choose to go on to yet another career.

If you are a person who wants more out of life and would like to explore the possibilities of partnering with Sharon as your coach, please contact her in whatever way is comfortable for you. By email: demartes@nventure.com; by fax (confidential): 253-568- 0453; by telephone: 206-938-1867.

Are you looking for more information on Initiative, Assertiveness, Goal Setting, and Anger Management?

Aries is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Initiative, Assertiveness, Goal Setting, and Anger Management. Learn more about Aries.
The information here tells all about Aries Astrology.

Aries Horoscope

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
~ Robert Benchley ~
Born September 15, 1889

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Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

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Last updated June 7th, 2008

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