Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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Measuring the Night: Evolutionary Astrology and the Keys to the Soul
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	Why Do People Cheat? Part 2 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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Why Do People Cheat?
Part 2
by Susan Dunn

Page: 1 2

One strong emotion that "hijacks" us is anger. Say you're at work, tired and pressured to begin with, and maybe it's too hot inside with no air circulation, and maybe the colleague you have to team with on a project isn't your favorite to begin with. If he says to you something that is, or is perceived to be, an insult, you can get "hijacked" and cheat yourself, the other, and the goals of the project.

You stop thinking and start yelling back, or walk out, and the project is left far behind in the dust.

Must you react to this strong emotion of anger? Sometimes a man will say he couldn't help hitting his wife "because she made me so angry." The counter to that is -- think about it -- if Mike Tyson made you that angry could you "help" hitting him.

I think you will agree with the statement that even the strongest emotions can be controlled in your self-interest, and stopping to think makes it clearer what your self-interest (and the general good) is.

Another strong emotion like this is fear. If you become intimidated by someone, that is to say scared, you will also get flooded with emotion and not think clearly. You'll "cheat" again -yourself, the others, and the goals.

If you shout order and insults at your child to "make" him do something, you're cheating your child of the chance to do what you want, because he can't even think, and also cheating yourself of your child's love and respect.

You know this feeling if you've ever received terrible news. I sat with someone as their doctor told her she had cancer and it was terminal, and the person did not absorb what was being said. Two weeks later she asked me why something was being done, and I had to tell her the news the doctor had. As a self-preservation measure, her brain just shut down.

So how do you keep from cheating? When the emotions are strong, note them, and experience them, but don't react immediately. Respond instead. This means putting a gap between the stimulus (the arousing person or event) and your response (action).

You can do this first of all by becoming aware. Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Without it, there can be no emotional intelligence.

You need to be able to observe yourself and recognize a feeling as it happens. Then handle it appropriately, realizing what's behind it and finding ways to manage fear, anger, anxieties and sadness. Then channel the emotions in service of a goal, using emotional self-control, stifling impulses and delaying gratification.

Finally, you have to be able to do this about the other person or persons, being sensitive to their feelings and understanding their position, and, when necessary, managing the emotions of others using social competence.

Those impulses will always be lurking around. Cheating is an option, not a necessity. It's your ability to choose how you behave that gives you Personal Power, an EQ competency, and your freedom lies in that space between the stimulus and the response.

(c) 2004 Susan Dunn, All rights reserved.

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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.

Are you looking for more information on Relationships, Cooperation, Teamwork, Diplomacy, Negotiation, and Cultural Issues?

Libra is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Relationships, Cooperation, Teamwork, Diplomacy, Negotiation, and Cultural Issues. Learn more about Libra.
The information here tells all about Libra Astrology.

Libra Horoscope

A man is in general better pleased when he has a good dinner upon his table, than when his wife talks Greek.
~ Samuel Johnson ~
Born September 18, 1709

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Last updated October 8th, 2004

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