The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Rebecca Brents
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Why Do People Cheat?
Part 1
by Susan Dunn
Astrology is for Skeptics
Real astrology doesn't tell you how to run your life.
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"People usually cheat because there is a conflict between their physical and emotional desires," said an article I read on the Internet, and it went on to talk about the sex drive (which comes from the reptilian brain) and the "emotional monogamous" need, which have only been around for a few thousand years.
The reptilian brain has been around for millions of years, the limbic brain less than that, and the neocortex, still less than that. Those are our three brains, in evolutionary succession. The drives and instincts from the reptilian brain are very strong because they're related to survival -reproduction being one of them.
But the sex drive isn't the only instinct coming from the reptilian brain, and monogamy not the only societal restraint put on these drives, and when we fail to mitigate some of these instincts, to think them through before acting upon them, we always end up "cheating" - ourselves, others, and the best deal in the situation.
Emotional intelligence is all about knowing and using all of our brains and their capacities. We will always be assaulted, so to speak, by feelings we can't, or shouldn't act upon. And "shouldn't" isn't always a bad word.
"Should " you kill someone because they anger you? Of course not. What stops you from doing it? The thousands of years of evolutionary brain development, the constraints of the civilized society in which you live, and your ability to use your limbic and neocortex brains.
It is a rare parent, for instance, who will do willful damage to their own child, no matter what damage they inflict. This is because the limbic brain controls the emotions of social bonding and parenting, and then we also have the neocortex which allows us to think. The catch is, we have to STOP and THINK.
We "understand" when our toddler slams us across the nose with a brick all the things that we understand, while we're seeing stars before out eyes, and our parental instinct is stronger than our desire to lash back, even when in pain.
Emotions predate thinking, and are stronger. They're our guides and keep us safe and alive. But they aren't always appropriate to living in this century. We can no longer "eat what annoys us." When we get strong emotions, we can be "hijacked," because they're designed to shut down thinking. If, back when these instincts developed, we stopped to think, we would be dead.
Consider, for instance, if a wooly mammoth were headed your way. The brain pumps out chemicals saying "fight or flight," because it doesn't want us to take the time to think. This triggers "automatic" responses - we turn and run, or turn to fight, with all systems on full alert.
You know this feeling if you've avoided a car accident by very fast and automatic actions. Being a cerebral type, the thought even flashed through my mind the other day as I slammed on the brakes to avoid being blind-sided by a driver who must've been drunk or stoned, "that cake on the back seat is going to be all over this car." But slam the brakes and steer for dear-life I did. Without thinking.Page: 1 2
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."
I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.
Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines.
For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.
Are you looking for more information on Relationships, Cooperation, Teamwork, Diplomacy, Negotiation, and Cultural Issues?
Libra is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Relationships, Cooperation, Teamwork, Diplomacy, Negotiation, and Cultural Issues. Learn more about Libra.
The information here tells all about Libra Astrology.
Libra Horoscope
The only thing that endures is character. Fame and wealth -- all that is illusion. All that endures is character.
~ O. J. Simpson ~
Born July 9, 1946
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Last updated October 8th, 2004
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