Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
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Rebecca Brents
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And the reaction? If the person is workable with, they show some introspection, remorse, and desire to make things better. They agree they weren't at their best. They engage in a conversation about it and take a look at what's going on.
If, on the other hand, they fly into a further rage, what you've done is further enrage a true narcissistic manager, and there's your clue.
Such statements as, "I know you were under stress," or "I'm doing the best I can under the circumstances and want to make this department shine. How can I.?" or "It doesn't help me do my best work when I'm called 'an idiot,'" are phrases which will engender rage in a narcissist, and some semblance of connection from a nice-guy-gone-bad-for-the-moment.
Narcissists have weak self-esteem and also may be control freaks. Those statements bring up feelings in them they can't deal with, so they rage. To them almost anything you say implies that they, themselves, are at fault (weak, incompetent, out-of-control), which they quickly will turn into being something YOUR fault, and then the mindless rage, because it makes them feel better.
And here's the real test of Emotional Intelligence. Empathy and communication skills (interpersonal relationship skills) are competencies, but there are others, such as Personal Power, Intuition, and Reality-testing.
In this case, how do we apply them? Personal Power means recognizing that you are not helpless and hopeless.
You may be helpless and hopeless in the face of trying to change the narcissist, but you are not hopeless and helpless in facing up to the reality and taking care of yourself by asking for a transfer, covering yourself while you must remain there, not taking any of this personally, taking care not to reveal any 'weaknesses' which can (and will) be used against you, documenting what needs documenting, and taking action on your own behalf, as in getting your resume ready.
Intuition? Your instincts in such an interchange should be shouting at you -- THIS IS NOT GOOD. How your intuition talks to you is a personal thing. You may get a sinking feeling where you just "know" the person can't be approached at a human level and means ill.
The hair could stand up on the back of your neck. Your palms could sweat. You could get a chill or weak knees -- fear, in any of its manifestations. There's nothing wimpy about this. A person who truly means ill to others, and in fact delights in serving it out, should raise such a reaction in you, and it should be heeded. That's what our gut instincts are for: to keep us safe.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."
I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.
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Are you looking for more information on Career, Professional Issues, Reputation, Organizational Leadership, Political Postures, Honor, Fame, and Prestige?
Capricorn is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Career, Professional Issues, Reputation, Organizational Leadership, Political Postures, Honor, Fame, and Prestige. Learn more about Capricorn.
The information here tells all about Capricorn Astrology.
Capricorn Horoscope
If you do not express your own original ideas,
if you do not listen to your own being,
you will have betrayed yourself.
Also, you will have betrayed your community
in failing to make your contribution.
~ Rollo May ~
The Courage to Create
Man's Search for Himself
Born April 21, 1909
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| Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it. |
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Last updated January 19th, 2005
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