The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Rebecca Brents
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Just How Bad IS That Person You Work For?
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by Susan Dunn
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This gives you the tools for quick reality-testing. The physiological responses you get from your body help you to test reality. If the meeting had gone well, you would get the equivalent of a warm feeling in your tummy. Again, this isn't a wussy thing.
You should have a feeling of satisfaction and hope, with accompanying physiological manifestations. A letting up of tension. A relief. You might even end up laughing with the women (or man), as you both let off steam, agree it went poorly, and decide to move forward.
The person who slips into bad behavior under stress, but shows some insight into their behavior, and concern for others, could benefit from coaching. They may be depressed, overwhelmed, or simply not have had the opportunity to learn EQ skills, or to understand how their behavior effects others.
They may also have moved into a position where they no longer get the kind of feedback that helps us all adjust our behavior to mature levels, and stay honest.
The person who shows no remorse and no insight, is not coachable, and they are not "fixable" by you.
If you get the message (from your gut feelings) you're dealing with a person who doesn't care, PAY ATTENTION. Then it's time to protect yourself, and do what you can not to raise the narcissistic rage again, while you make plans to get yourself somewhere else. It can be a long-term stressful thing while you remain, but you can learn ways to tolerate it better, and also to decrease the chances of it falling on you again.
"Turning the other cheek" will not work with a narcissistic personality. What you will get is a bigger slap on the other cheek.
Don't let your empathy interfere with your common sense. You may sense the misery of the other person, the sagging ego, or the desperate need to control, but don't let this understanding of their motives over-ride the fact that the person is dishing out abuse.
Whatever traumatic events in their past brought on this personality type, it is no excuse for bad behavior, and no reason to justify taking the abuse, so don't rationalize it. This is a good EQ example, because in this case you need to get out of the thinking brain (rationalizing) and back to the emotional brains (instincts) for the reality-testing.
People do get promoted who shouldn't be. Get the blinders off and use your EQ. It could save your career, not to mention your health.
(C) 2004 Susan Dunn, All rights reserved.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."
I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.
Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines.
For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.
Are you looking for more information on Career, Professional Issues, Reputation, Organizational Leadership, Political Postures, Honor, Fame, and Prestige?
Capricorn is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Career, Professional Issues, Reputation, Organizational Leadership, Political Postures, Honor, Fame, and Prestige. Learn more about Capricorn.
The information here tells all about Capricorn Astrology.
Capricorn Horoscope
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
~ John Billings ~
Born April 21, 1818
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Last updated January 19th, 2005
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