Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
By
Rebecca Brents
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Luck: The Brilliant Randomness Of Everyday Life
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Nicholas Rescher
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| Selfishness versus Self-Responsibility | In the Spotlight for Aquarius Contents | Is Your Life's Purpose For Sale? |
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Want to Enjoy Life and Achieve Your Goals?
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by Susan Dunn
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Do you want to enjoy your life and achieve all of your goals? Most of us do, but the two can be conflicting. Career and achievement goals can bring stress and negative emotions, when what we're after is positive emotions.
So what's the key?
Emotional Intelligence - managing your emotions. Rather than trying to avoid negative emotions, which gives them power, or becoming numb, which robs you of joy and pleasure, you can learn now to manage negative states, while learning to generate more positive emotions more of the time.
Yes, it can be learned!
Here are some of the tools you can use to achieve this:
1. Optimism.
What you attribute negative events to is the key to optimism. A pessimist attributes rejections, losses or setbacks in a way that's personal, permanent and pervasive. Every rejection is because of some fault of theirs, which applies to all areas of their life, and also will be permanent.
An optimist, on the other hand, attributes negative events to things that aren't personal, permanent and pervasive. But the key to optimism is avoiding the downward spiral. When something goes wrong, attribute it properly 9with the 3 Ps), and then distract yourself; don't dwell.
When something good happens, attribute it to the 3Ps and celebrate. Soon it will become a habit. And did you know optimists live 19% longer? (I imagine they enjoy it more, too.)
2. Develop your Emotional Intelligence.
This means being able to handle your emotions and those of others. When you think about it, the question is always, "Who's the problem?" not "What's the problem?" Studying with a certified EQ coach will help you master the important life skills of Emotional Intelligence. Either you manage your emotions, or they toss you all over the place.
3. Detach "enough."
You don't have to become a lama, but you can learn to let go more. Detach yourself from expectations. They can cause us more turmoil than anything else. If you expect less, or expect nothing at all, you can only be happily surprised.
Don't expect others to meet your needs, no matter how close to you they are, or what you consider the mutual obligations to be. Don't expect the next promotion to make you happy -if you weren't happy before, you won't be then. Don't expect!
4. Be intentional.
Instead of dealing with fears and fantasies, decide what you intend to have happen. You can go to your speaking engagement worrying, or you can say to yourself, "I intend to give the best presentation I can."
5. Worrying is a waste of time and energy.
Ask anyone over the age of 50! The things we worry about rarely happen. The things that really throw us we could never have anticipated. We aren't any good at worrying, and who would want to be? If it's something you can do something about, take action. If not, let it go.
6. Know yourself. I mean your strengths.
Too often we focus on our weaknesses. Take the StrengthsFinder® profile, find out your top 5 strengths, and learn to go to them whenever you hit a wall. It works like a charm!Page: 1 2
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."
I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.
Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines.
For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.
Are you looking for more information on Friends, Social And Professional Network, Altruism, Ideals, Goals, Progressive Experimentation, and Independence?
Aquarius is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Friends, Social And Professional Network, Altruism, Ideals, Goals, Progressive Experimentation, and Independence. Learn more about Aquarius.
The information here tells all about Aquarius Astrology.
Aquarius Horoscope
All art is communication of the artists' ideas, sounds, thoughts;
without that no one will support the artist.
~ Lionel Hampton ~
Born April 20, 1908
Featured In the Spotlight Article: From the In the Spotlight Archives: In the Spotlight Articles for the Current Sign: |
| Selfishness versus Self-Responsibility | In the Spotlight for Aquarius Contents | Is Your Life's Purpose For Sale? |
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Last updated January 26th, 2005
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