Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
By
Rebecca Brents
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Their main goal was to avoid him at all costs. They skirted around him in the hall, turned and went the other way when they heard him coming, passed papers around rather than going into his office, left if he was headed their way, and even warned others, i.e., "boss alert."
Small wonder I found out he had been divorced 15 years. They had to put up with him at work, but no one was willing to at home.
He truly "barked" orders, and barked everything else. Is this effective leadership? Is this effective relating? Is this any way to "be"? No, it is not. He had some good ideas, but like my poor aging dog, everyone's main reaction was to get rid of the noise as fast as they could. He missed getting the information he needed because no one wanted to risk being around that noise.
One of the tips I read recently in a leadership article was "Never raise your voice." Certain tones of voice, and rhythms of speaking turn other people off, and if we're focusing on things that annoy us, what chance do the ideas of the other person have of finding a happy home with us?
At best, the other person will give 'lip service' to what you say, again, just to get you out of their face and to stop the barking. We do the mental equivalent of putting our hands over our ears.
Only when we relate to the feelings of another person do we connect, and only when we connect can we truly influence. Our excitement about an idea, or about its usefulness to the well-being of another (compassion) is much more likely to effect another person and to influence their behavior than a strictly intellectual analysis of an idea, or the strident forcing of one's own opinions on others, or even of "giving orders".
Sadder still if we're in some position of power over the other and they 'must' listen to us, at least for a time. This applies to parents, lovers, colleagues, bosses, managers, and any of us at any given time. Think of the last time you were "a captive audience" to the person next to you in the airplane.
Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence."
I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ.
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Are you looking for more information on Relationships, Cooperation, Teamwork, Diplomacy, Negotiation, and Cultural Issues?
Libra is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Relationships, Cooperation, Teamwork, Diplomacy, Negotiation, and Cultural Issues. Learn more about Libra.
The information here tells all about Libra Astrology.
Libra Horoscope
If you do not express your own original ideas,
if you do not listen to your own being,
you will have betrayed yourself.
Also, you will have betrayed your community
in failing to make your contribution.
~ Rollo May ~
The Courage to Create
Man's Search for Himself
Born April 21, 1909
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Last updated February 21st, 2005
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