Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
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Astrology is for Believers.

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Tarot and the Tree of Life: Finding Everyday Wisdom in the Minor Arcana
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	What You Judge Won't Budge Part 1 by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Inner Bonding
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

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What You Judge Won't Budge
Part 1
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Page: 1 2

Sheila was stuck. Even though she was trying to hard to change some things in her behavior -- especially her anger and her clutter, she found herself doing these things over and over. Then she would get upset with herself, telling herself she was stupid and incompetent.

How often do you tell yourself that you are wrong, bad, inadequate, unworthy, a jerk, stupid, and so on? I've found, in the many years I've been counseling, that most people are frequently inwardly judgmental.

Many of us believe that if we judge ourselves, we can get ourselves to do things differently -- to do them "right." And if we do them right, then others will like us. Underlying this is the false belief that doing things right is a way to control how others feel about us and treat us.

Most of us are taught, from the time we are very little, that we CAUSE other people to feel and behave the way they do. We are taught by our parents, teachers and other caregivers that we cause others to feel angry, scared, hurt, rejected, or loving and accepting.

In the case of Sheila, she was taught that if she did poorly in school, she caused her parents to be angry. Their anger was her fault. In other words, she was IN CONTROL of her parents feelings and reactions because her behavior caused their feelings and reactions. Her behavior caused them to be angry and reject her.

Now, as an adult, Sheila believes that she causes others to accept or reject her, or to feel happy or unhappy with her. She believes that if she can just do things "right" enough, she can be in control of others being happy with her and accepting her. We explored this in one of our sessions.

"Sheila," I asked, "Do you think others are in control of how you feel about them?"

Sheila thought a moment. "No, I don't think so. Some days, when I'm in a good mood, I seem to like everyone, and other days, when I'm really tired or upset about something, people can really bug me."

"So how you feel about and treat others has more to do with you than with them, is that right?"

"Yeah, I think that's right! I never thought about that before!"

Page: 1 2

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: Inner Bonding
or email: margaret@innerbonding.com

Are you looking for more information on Death, Profound Change, Transition, Crisis Management, Rebirth, Consolidation of Assets, and Self-Improvement?

Scorpio is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Death, Profound Change, Transition, Crisis Management, Rebirth, Consolidation of Assets, and Self-Improvement. Learn more about Scorpio.
The information here tells all about Scorpio Astrology.

Scorpio Horoscope

An act of terrorism totally outside the bounds of international law and diplomatic tradition: a crisis that calls for firmness and restraint.
~ Jimmy Carter ~
Born October 1, 1924

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Last updated January 31st, 2004

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The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Rebecca Brents

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Creating a Life Worth Living
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Carol Lloyd