Racing with the Moon
By
Rebecca Brents

Planets in Retrograde -- The Basics
By
Rebecca Brents

Astrology Coaching
Live Your Life by Divine Design

Learn in detail about your character, the way you were built to operate, the life you were meant to live, how you were designed to support yourself with money, in relationships, and with work that honors the unique spirit you are.

Is This Your Year of Living Prosperously?

Take a journey through your birth chart as never before.

Real Astrology ...
for people who take
their lives seriously.

Enroll in
Astrology Coaching
TODAY!!

Whispers From The Woods: The Lore & Magic of Trees
By
Sandra Kynes

Our Premium Members get

Readings ~ Classes

Lectures ~ Articles

Ezines ~ Oracles

And More!!

For people who take
their lives seriously.

Join our
Premium Membership
TODAY!!

	The Need to Feel Special by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Inner Bonding
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

    Email This Page to a Friend    

The Need to Feel Special
by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

From the time Jennifer was a little child, she was demanding of attention, especially from her mother, Sarah. With two older brothers, Jennifer had a "special" place in the family as the baby and the only girl. She made sure to establish a "special" relationship with her mother, who relished the connection since she didn't have much of a relationship with her emotionally distant husband.

It was easy for Jennifer to control her mother's attention. Because her mother was needy for emotional connection and afraid of not being liked, all Jennifer had to do was get angry at her mother and Sarah would capitulate, giving Jennifer the attention she craved.

Jennifer learned early to control her mother by becoming angry, critical and withholding love when her mother didn't do what she wanted. Unwittingly, Sarah contributed to Jennifer's neediness, entitlement issues, and the belief that happiness was dependent on approval and attention from others.

Jennifer, now in her late 30's, finds herself continuing the pattern she started with her mother - attaching to others in needy and demanding ways. The result is she has not been able to have a successful relationship with any of the men she has dated.

We all have a need to feel special. It is not the need that is dysfunctional, it is how we go about getting the need met that can be either dysfunctional or healthy. It is dysfunctional when we make others responsible for making us feel special. When others have to give us attention, compliment us, seek us out, and attend to our wants and needs in order for us to feel special, our behavior is dysfunctional.

Healthy Special-Ness

You will stop pulling on others to make you special only when you accept the full responsibility of making yourself feel special. This means learning to give yourself all that you may be trying to get from others -- treating yourself in the loving ways you desire from others. There are many ways of making ourselves feel special. Instead of trying to get others to give you what you want, you can:

Take Emotional Responsibility:

• Attend to your feelings throughout the day and explore what you may be doing that is causing painful feelings, rather than making others responsible for your feelings.
• Attend to your own needs rather than expecting others to meet your needs.
• Accept yourself rather than judge yourself. Validate yourself, approve of yourself -- tell yourself the things you want to hear from others. Value your talents and gifts.
• Value your intrinsic worth rather than just your looks or performance -- your kindness, compassion, creativity, caring.
• Behave in ways that you value -- being loving, kind, integreous, compassionate, understanding, caring.
• Pursue work you love, work that fulfills you, if possible.

Take Physical Responsibility:

• Feed yourself well to maintain health and appropriate weight.
• Get enough rest and exercise.
• Create balance between work and play and creative time.
• Make sure you are physically safe such as when riding a motorcycle.

Take Financial Responsibility:

• Make sure you are financially independent rather than dependent upon another, if physically able to do so.
• Spend within your means to avoid the fear and stress of debt.

Take Relationship Responsibility:

• Stand up for yourself and speak your truth rather than complying, defending or resisting in the face of others' demands or criticism. Don't be a victim.
• Refrain from blaming others, with anger and criticism, for your feelings and behavior. Don't be a victim.

Take Organizational Responsibility:

• Do what you say you are going to do regarding time and chores.
• Make sure your living space and work environment are clean and tidy, and esthetically pleasing.

Take Spiritual Responsibility:

• Take the time to connect with the love and truth of God/Higher Power.
• Take time throughout the day to bring the love down to the level of your feeling self -- your Inner Child.

Treating yourself in these loving ways will eventually result in feeling internally special rather than needing others to make you feel special.

As Jennifer practiced making herself special, she discovered that her relationships with others were becoming stronger and more fulfilling. People were no longer pulling away from her, resisting her, or defending themselves against her demands for attention. Her behavior naturally and gradually changed with others when she was treat herself as a special person.

Go to: Self-Improvement for Aries, Building Self-Esteem, Self-Improvement for Cancer, Working with Emotions, Self-Improvement for Virgo, Coping with Your Inner Critic

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: Inner Bonding
or email: margaret@innerbonding.com

Are you looking for more information on Initiative, Assertiveness, Goal Setting, and Anger Management?

Aries is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Initiative, Assertiveness, Goal Setting, and Anger Management. Learn more about Aries.
The information here tells all about Aries Astrology.

Aries Horoscope

I never even thought about whether or not they understand what I'm doing . . . the emotional reaction is all that matters as long as there's some feeling of communication, it isn't necessary that it be understood.
~ John Coltrane ~
Born September 23, 1926

Please click on the titles to visit these fine areas of Enchanted Spirit

---

	PO Box 1080 Sandia Park · NM · 87047

Enchanted Spirit is a non-denominational spiritual center of healing, support, self-improvement, personal guidance, education and writing. We publish multi-media works of New Age thought and information to encourage serenity and growth in individual life choices, advance the universal search for life's meaning, and promote tolerance for positive ideas from all philosophies and religious traditions, believing as we do that truth is where you find it.

---

This site is hosted and maintained for Enchanted Spirit by

Catweasel Ink

Copyright © 1999 - 2008 by Enchanted Spirit and Catweasel Ink.
Contributed works copyright by their respective authors. All rights reserved.
Unauthorized reproduction specifically prohibited.

Last updated August 8th, 2008

Rebecca is not available
right now.


Please check back
later
CLICK HERE FOR
MORE INFO

Tell Me More About the Tarot
By
Rebecca Brents

Tired of insipid, canned astrology reports full of white space and mysterious jargon?

We specialize in useful, practical, plain English information ... and lots of it!!

The difference between real astrology and the "daily horoscope in the newspaper" will amaze you.

Join our
Astrology and Tarot
Premium Membership
TODAY!!

Unexpected Miracles : The Gift of Synchronicity and How to Open it
By
David Richo