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The Circle of Life -- The Zodiac Signs and the New Moon's Journey
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Virgo Astrology
Self Improvement for Virgo
Job Hunting Tip
Accepting Judgment
by Virginia Bola

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 7 Powerful Tips For Lasting Motivation And Greater Success  In the Spotlight for Virgo Contents  Soul at Work 

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Accepting Judgment
by Virginia Bola



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Applying for work is stressful, no matter the circumstances. Even if you are already working, and merely looking to see what else is out there, you still want to be offered the position. If you realize, half way through an interview, that you would be miserable working for this company and you wouldn't let your dog take the job, you still want it to be offered. If the hours are unsuitable, the job duties demeaning, and the salary a joke, you still want to be made an offer.

Why is it so important to us to have an offer made which we already know we will reject?

It is important because we are aware that we are being judged. We talk about skills and experience and prior accomplishments but that has already been outlined in a resume. A face-to-face interview is for the purpose of judging you as a person: Will you fit in? How do you express yourself? How do you look? Are you pleasant to have around? Are you likable?

If a job offer is made, we feel validated and worthwhile -they liked us. We never think "He really didn't like me but my skills are so great." We want to be liked, we want to be wanted, we want to be appreciated for what we are.

If no job offer is forthcoming, we take it personally: "I guess they didn't like me." Regardless of our whether our skills were a fit, our salary in the ballpark, or our experience applicable, we feel a personal failure. The negative messages of a lifetime, stored in our brain, start playing: "I'm just not good enough. I'm worthless. People don't like me. Why do I always mess up? I'm such a failure. Why can't I be more like ... "

We mentally beat ourselves down by listening to those constantly recycling tapes. Our spirits sink, our energy evaporates, and our self-esteem plummets. This negativity, and its destructive effect on our psyche, can be contained by three techniques:

1. Awareness of what our mind is doing and consciously interrupting its tirade.

2. A refocus of our mental attention to prior successes and accomplishments, no matter how small, to counter the idea that we are lifelong screw-ups.

3. Reframing our value as a person from the specific employee/worker role into the total personality that we are: in our intimate and social relationships, in our family, in our community.

Applying for work sets us up to judged but we need to remind ourselves that only a small discrete portion of who we are is being examined. As a whole person, we are far more than a worker and no employer can judge us on our totality.

(c) 2004 Virginia Bola, All rights reserved

Dr. Bola developed innovative job search techniques for disabled workers for 20 years. A licensed psychologist, she appeared as a Vocational Expert in a variety of administrative and civil courts. Author and e-zine publisher, she can be found at: Virginia Bola

Are you looking for more information on Work, Service, Job Issues, Colleagues, Pets, Health, and Lifestyle?

Virgo is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Work, Service, Job Issues, Colleagues, Pets, Health, and Lifestyle. Learn more about Virgo.
The information here tells all about Virgo Astrology.

Virgo Horoscope

I don't ask for the meaning of the song of a bird
or the rising of the sun on a misty morning.
There they are, and they are beautiful.

~ Pete Hamill ~
Born June 24, 1935

Featured In the Spotlight Article:
Adapting to Change
People who are adaptive are able to organize their thoughts in ways that generate appropriate and positive actions. Adaptive abilities are necessary as changes occur in individuals and their circumstances.

From the In the Spotlight Archives:
4 Steps To Having the Life You REALLY Want!
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How to Succeed for the Rest of Your Life
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Are You Ready?
Want to Enjoy Life and Achieve Your Goals?
Reach Your Goals Quickly


 7 Powerful Tips For Lasting Motivation And Greater Success  In the Spotlight for Virgo Contents  Soul at Work 

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Last updated April 27th, 2005

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