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What to Do When You're Worried Part 1 by Susan Dunn Momentum Coaching |
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What to Do When You're Worried Part 1 by Susan Dunn
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Worrying? Who doesn't these days? There's such a great choice of things to worry about - terrorism, the economy, the rising cost of health insurance -and then there's our more personal list - the difficult teenager, an aging parent who's not doing well, the threat of being downsized, the difficult in finding good employment.
What we choose to worry about says a lot about us, but the concept of worrying seems to be an accepted part of life. I'm reminded of my first days interning at a battered women's shelter when I was getting my degree in psychology. "You won't find a lot of neurotic worrying down here," the supervisor told me. "This is about putting food on the table."
What is "neurotic" worrying? Well, it's kind of like getting in the groove of worrying and shifting the levels and the particulars. Worrying about things you're conflicted about. Fantasizing and inventing things to worry about.
It's an oversimplification, but "real" worry is when your car's stuck on the railroad track and a train is barreling toward you. "Manufactured" worrying is worrying that you'll NEVER find a partner because you're over 30 or worrying that you'll NEVER find a job.
Sometimes we just get in the habit of worrying. For instance you might wake up in the morning and start the mental search for what you're supposed to be worrying about that day. Even having had a great dream can trigger this. "I had this wonderful dream about my mother," someone told me, "and woke up so happy, but it didn't last long. I immediately switched over to worrying about how unhappy she is now and what to do about it."
Well, it's one thing if you're worrying about something crucial - in the case of being unemployed, for instance, but quite another if you're just in the habit of worrying and you don't feel good if you aren't, or actually go after it as a part of your mental and emotional life.
This can be changed and is part of your emotional intelligence development. Worry is part mental and part emotional. You start the emotion of worry because of what you're thinking about or, especially sad, you're in a worry mindset and start a computer scan to find things to worry about.
It's quite logical that if you're determined to worry, you can find something to worry about, but we aren't always rational about such things.
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Susan Dunn, MA, Clinical Psychology, The EQ CoachT, Susan Dunn, MA, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, Susan Dunn. Bringing the power of Emotional Intelligence to YOUR life through coaching, eBooks, and distance learning. Midlife, retirement and transition coaching, career and relationships. Email for free EQ ezine. Want to be a certified EQ Coach? Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Products available for licensing to build your practice. Visit the best ebook library on the Internet - EBook Library.
Susan Dunn. Susan is the author of "How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence." I offer coaching around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, resilience (the skill for this decade), transitions, retirement, and personal and professional development. I train managers and coaches to teach EQ. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZines. For free daily tips on how to develop your EQ, send blank email to: EQ4U.

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Pisces is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Faith, Therapy, Healing, Self-Understanding, Psychological Issues, Self-Sabotage, Cosmic Consciousness, Artistic Inspiration, and Karma. Learn more about Pisces.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners. ~ Erma Bombeck ~ Born February 21, 1927
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