Self-Sabotage
Are We Prisoners of the Past?
Part 1
by Rosella Aranda
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Many people who suffer from low self-esteem would give anything to escape their painful feelings of inferiority. Almost anything, that is. People are reluctant, even obstinate, when it comes to giving up their illusions of an idyllic childhood.
And yet, if we are to break free from our mental prisons, we must become willing to honor the truth of our personal history. This is the key to removing our invisible psychological and emotional chains.
Lack of Self-Worth Does Not Develop in a Vacuum
There is just no getting around the fact that our core beliefs about the world and ourselves and our place in this world are pretty firmly established by the time we are three or four years old.
Lack of parental approval in early childhood exacts a heavy toll. Low self-esteem, the root of all self-sabotaging behavior, hangs heavy around our necks for life
"I Left All That Behind a Long Time Ago"
People are quick to grasp at a simple "Out of sight, out of mind" escape. Sadly, this is a fantasy. While you can, indeed, leave home and leave your family life behind, their influence does not leave you.
Negative parental messages carry enormous weight. It is through these concepts that everything else later on, (i.e., for the rest of our lives) is filtered.
Clearly then, if these basic messages are more negative than positive, it is not surprising that we would wind up with a badly mangled sense of self-worth.
A life of self-sabotage and perpetual dissatisfaction is what results, because we simply do not believe, at a SUBCONSCIOUS level, that we are worth anything better.
Traditional Morality Would Have Us Turn Away
People recoil at the idea of finding fault with their parents. We have many religious, social and cultural injunctions to honor, obey, respect, forgive, and worship our elders.
These commandments prevent us from looking upon our caretakers in a less than adoring way without incurring a tremendous sense of guilt, betrayal and ingratitude. So we remain unaware.
What people fail to appreciate is that it is only by shattering our ignorance and examining our formative years that we can come to understand what makes us tick. This awareness will, in turn, allow us to process any distress so that we may finally release it. Not ignore it, not camouflage it, but finally release it.
This is all done in a spirit of healing, not one of self-pity, and certainly not one of denunciation. As a result of discovering and embracing our emotions rather than squelching them, we can finally come alive.
Not only do we gain a new sense of vitality, but we gain a new source of wisdom. And our awareness allows us to cut negative patterns off at their source. You see, we cannot let go of something if we don't allow ourselves to acknowledge what we are hanging on to.

Author's URL: Calling All Entrepreneurs
Rosella Aranda, international marketer and writer, helps entrepreneurs escape their limitations and enjoy greater self-esteem. See her newest ebook at Sabotage Thyself No More
Kind encouragement, solid motivation and free goodies at Calling All Entrepreneurs
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