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	Conversational Negative Self-talk Part 1 by Skye Thomas Tomorrow's Edge
Astrology, Tarot, and Self Improvement for the New Age.

Conversational Negative Self-talk
Part 1
by Skye Thomas

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Most people don't even know they're doing it. Throughout the course of normal conversation, they bombard themselves with negative self-talk. Even people who are aware of the power of their words seem to miss some of the most commonly used derogatory comments that are made towards ourselves in the course of normal conversation.

While plotting out goals and dreams we remember to stop ourselves from saying statements like "I can't," "I'm not good enough," or "I'll never be able to pull this off." However, it's the subtle little things that we say while on conversational autopilot that eats away at our self-confidence.

How many times have you heard someone in a conversation admit that they were misinformed in the past saying, "Oops, I lied." Lying by definition is a deliberate and sometimes malicious intent to deceive another. If you were wrong, misinformed, or made a bad assumption, but honestly believed you were giving factual information at the time, then it was NOT a lie. You are not a liar.

You did not deliberately deceive the other person. Do not use a negative term like "lied" to describe yourself. Say, "Oops, I misunderstood." "Oops, I made a bad assumption." Or, "Oops, I was wrong." Unless you actually did it on purpose, it's not a lie and you shouldn't call yourself a liar.

It amazes me how many people say "I lied!" repeatedly during normal conversation as if they are habitual liars or something. It's a derogatory word. Don't use it unless you really meaning it.

My daughter was telling me about a friend of hers that she was talking on the telephone with the other night. They were going over a tough homework assignment together. Every time my daughter's friend realized that she had written down the wrong answer, on autopilot she would say, "Oh, I'm stupid." Over and over without even realizing it, she kept calling herself stupid. She said it ten or fifteen times within an hour long conversation.

Funny thing is this girl isn't stupid, she just thinks she is and acts accordingly. If she was my daughter, I'd make her quit saying that all of the time. My children were taught never to call themselves such things. My daughter's friend is really quite normal. I'm always hearing people say that or they'll say the equivalent, "I'm dumb" or "that was dumb" in reference to themselves. Stupid and dumb are interchangeable.

Sometimes the negative comments are disguised as humor. "I'm just a stupid guy," "Oh well, what do you expect from a dumb blonde," or "I think my mom dropped me one too many times as a baby!" The fact that they feel a need to make excuses for themselves means that they have low self-confidence.

It's a subtle and difficult pattern to break. A lot of people do it without noticing that they're even doing it. It's said with the same automatic presentation as the "Fine, thanks." That always follows "How are you?" I would recommend that you ask someone to help you with it. For example, in speech classes they will get on you for saying things like um, ya' know, or soooooo.

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Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas.

Go to Tomorrow's Edge to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books. Contact her at Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

Are you looking for more information on Ideas, Communication, Intellectual Development, and Mobility?

Gemini is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Ideas, Communication, Intellectual Development, and Mobility. Learn more about Gemini.
The information here tells all about Gemini Astrology.

Gemini Horoscope

A tremendous number of people in America work very hard at something that bores them. Even a rich man thinks he has to go down to the office everyday. Not because he likes it but because he can't think of anything else to do.
~ W. H. Auden ~
Born February 21, 1907

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Last updated September 29th, 2005

Interpreting Tarot -- Reading the Book of Life
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Rebecca Brents

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Shaman, Healer, Sage : How to Heal Yourself and Others with the Energy Medicine of the Americas
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Alberto Phd Villoldo