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Break-ups How To Survive Them Part 3 by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist Kali Munro |
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Break-ups How To Survive Them Part 3 by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist
Page: 1 2 3 4
Stages of Grief
You will get through this, even if it doesn't feel like that right now. Grief moves in stages -- it has a beginning, middle, and an end phase. It might help to know where you are in the process.
In the beginning, you may feel in shock, denial or feel numb. It may be hard for you to believe what has happened. It may be hard to make sense of it all. You may find yourself expecting to come home to your partner or for her/him to call at a regular time only to discover that's not the case any longer. It may take awhile for you to fully comprehend that the relationship is over.
During this phase many people operate as if the relationship is still on even as they grieve the loss. For example, even though you may be really upset, you may not have fully accepted that the relationship is over. Deep down you may be waiting for her/him to come back. (People do this even after a death, it's
normal.) This period of disbelief or shock is the body's natural protection against pain.
At this stage, many people have trouble remembering things, focusing, and feeling a sense of purpose or direction in their lives -- you may feel as though you are drifting through the day. This is a natural initial reaction to loss.
The Second Stage of Grief
The second stage involves feeling fear, anger and depression. This stage often lasts the longest and can be filled with feelings of insecurity, panic, worry, crying, anger, and feelings of depression. Some people don't allow themselves to feel, while others have trouble letting go of how they are feeling. Both are essential -- feeling and eventually letting go.
Some people worry that if they let themselves feel that they'll be overcome with emotion and never come out of it -- they'll drown in their feelings and not be able to function. Others feel their feelings but can't seem to let go of them even after a lot of time has passed. Either way, it's important to give yourself permission to feel and at some point to let go so that you can move on.
In the beginning, you may think that you will always feel this way, but you won't. Your feelings will pass. You'll discover that the time between down periods increases. Too often with break-ups we don't feel that we have the right to feel upset much longer than a few weeks when the truth is it usually takes longer.
I have found that grief tends to run a cycle of at least one year unless of course the relationship wasn't very important, was short-term, or you were grieving before you actually left her/him. But, if you spent a number of years together, and the person was important to you, even if you're the one doing the breaking up you can still be grieving for approximately one year.
Page: 1 2 3 4

(c) Kali Munro, All rights reserved.
Kali Munro

Are you looking for more information on Death, Profound Change, Transition, Crisis Management, Rebirth, Consolidation of Assets, and Self-Improvement?
Scorpio is the astrology sign that deals specifically with Death, Profound Change, Transition, Crisis Management, Rebirth, Consolidation of Assets, and Self-Improvement. Learn more about Scorpio.
The information here tells all about Scorpio Astrology.
Scorpio Horoscope

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous. ~ Robert Benchley ~ Born September 15, 1889
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Eight-Legged creatures infest your blankets, pillows, couches, chairs, carpeting and more. They are only half a millimeter big yet a still living, eating and defecating in your house. They trigger allergy symptoms and feed on your dead skin. What am I talking about? Dust Mites. Many people are unaware that there are millions of dust mites in their house and know little to nothing regarding the eradication of dust mites. |
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